We all knew you could live vicariously....

The most unsettling game review (for a very cool game) that I've ever read and for so many reasons, from RobotStreetGang (no relation to Robot Love and I just found out about the site today, so don't come crying to me if you don't like what's there).

The comments after the essay itself, though, do bring a sort of balance to the topic.

Oh! I have one more for my list, below:

* Good Eats - The "American Pickle," episode where host Alton Brown (AB) is joined by his "brother," BA, who is dressed in a bandana and biker's jacket and wears shades. Whereas Alton makes sweet and tart pickles, BA makes sour and spicy pickles. BA doesn't talk until the very end of the episode when AB tries one of his "firecrackers," (basically a very spicy carrot pickle). While AB gasps, BA delivers the show's tagline: "Now that's what I call... Good Eats."

If you get the Food Network and *haven't* been watching Good Eats.... Shame on you!!!

Lively discussion going on at, appropriately enough, Kathryn Lively's blog about television programs with characters who have evil dopplegangers.

Here's my list of shows which have featured an evil version of one (or more) of the main characters where the evil version is played by the same actor. Characters who merely go (or turn) evil for an episode or season don't count. So Angel from season 2 of Buffy is right out.

* Bewitched (a bit before my time, I vaguely remember there being an evil Samantha, but on the 'blog, it got listed).
* Buffy, The Vampire Slayer (Evil Alternate-Dimension Vampire Willow, most prominent among others).
* Star Trek: The Original Series (Kirk as ultimate despot).
* Star Trek: The Next Generation (Data/Lore, need I say more? "Helloo, Brother.")
* Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (they revisited on numerous occasions the Mirror Universe from the Mirror, Mirror episode of TOS. Kira was the tyrant who ran DS9 and was also a lesbian).
* Xena, Warrior Princess (Xena and Meg -- who's not really evil, I warrant -- but then there's Joxer and Jet -- who IS evil).
* Hercules, The Legendary Journeys (apparently the Star Trek Mirror Universe existed in modern ancient Greece as well and, yes, the Evil Kevin Sorbo DID have a beard).
* Andromeda (Kevin Sorbo's original first-officer, 300 years ago, was a back-stabbing Nietzschian, but the genetic reincarnation of same is actually a pretty cool and helpful guy. Confused? Watch the show!).

Can anyone think of more?

Allow me to be serious...

...for just a moment. Regular readers of this blog (both of them) will know the incredible esteem in which I held Fr. Bryce's A Saintly Salmagundi 'blog. I once gave this 'blog an infinite number of Aristotelian forms out of a possible infinite number, and I stand by that. Well, it looks as though Fr. Bryce has been asked by The Powers That Be to stop blogging and, as a faithful priest (you know, I think in some odd way, sitting here at 12:43am, writing that, I just came to understand what an awesome responsibility it is to be a faithful priest.... we don't see nearly enough of them, but they're there... being a priest really is far more than just a job or even a vocation... it's something sacred and eternal... whoa...), he will obey. I will certainly miss Fr. Bryce's daily ruminations on the faith and various web-culture falderol, especially the way he managed to bring the two of them (the Eternal Faith and tacky web-culture) together so intricately and cleverly and also managed to teach us something while doing so. It is a real and genuine shame that we won't be able to share in his observations -- at least not through his 'blog, not for a while.

But I have reason to believe we've not heard the last of Father Bryce.... There's no way he'd let the rest of us off that easily.

God bless you, Father Bryce!!! And hurry back! The parishoners of St. Blog's will keep the scratchy, old wireless microphone warmed-up for your return!

Whenever I need a good kick in the backside, motivationally speaking of course (and I don't suppose I really needed to qualify that -- at least I hope I didn't) I'll listen to The ORIGINAL BROTHERS and SISTERS of LOVE. If you like music, know this: these folks are REAL MUSICIANS. You know: people who live, eat, breathe, and live (even to a greater degree) music? That's the Brothers (and Sister). Buy their albums. They really do reconstruct the past for the present like the reviewer guy says.

So today someone says to me (it doesn't matter who, but if you really must know it was a made-up person): "Victor! You seem like a fairly reasonable person. Why don't you just chuck this whole ambition to become a 'blogging superstar or novelist or screenwriter or musician or whatever it is you want to be and just get yourself a nice new PC and a copy of some on-line role-playing game and just disappear for the rest of your life into some virtual world where you can hunt monsters, make friends to help you hunt monsters, and buy nice things with all the money you earn hunting monsters? You know you want to!"
And so I said to them: "Yeah, that's true, but what you don't realize is that depite all the frustration at never having enough time to actually start and complete anything of value, the ceaseless personal doubt that nothing you ever create will be any good, and ennui and laziness which results from said frustration and doubt, uh, what you don't realize is that there is a spark of light within me that will ever burn, and that spark is my creativity and my talent and no matter what happens I know that it will always be with me and that SOMEDAY there will be something which will strip away everything which keeps that sparkle from bursting forth and showering the world with some expression of my true nature and goodness. So there."
So they said "Oh. That's cool."
And then I said, remembering suddenly that the mortgage was late and that there were only two paydays this month and that the company I work for is bankrupt, "Wait. What kind of monsters?"

Confirmed: the reported Jeeves and Wooster parody (as Monsignor and Bishop trying to avert a plenary council) at Disputations is indeed most humorous.

Read the first (short) chapter to which I've linked, and then look above it for chapter 2. Hopefully more are to follow soon.

Not much new on the ol' Internet today. Oh, sure, I could tell you about how the Gores didn't want to pay $75 a piece to see the Boss, but that a Democratic Politician didn't want to pay for something personal with his or her own money is not exactly news.

I could also tell you about how a G.I. Joe doll had its two-inch gun taken away from it at LAX airport because in the hands of the 55-year-old woman carrying the doll, it was a "dangerous weapon," but since they're already making mothers drink their own breastmilk in order to get on a plane, that's not exactly news either.

Nope. Whoever said "every day, another new thing," never experienced August 8th, 2002.

This goes out to all the folks out there who plan ahead and reserve hotel rooms more than one month ahead of when they plan to use them: WHY? Don't you realize how difficult you make things for those of us who like to be spontaneous? Sheesh -- I'm planning on going to this Catholic Writers' Festival and when I checked on Monday there were reasonably-priced (albeit not non-smoking) hotel rooms available 0.14 miles from the conference and now? Wierton, WV: seven miles away and $40 more a night. Why? WHY? WHYYYY?

It's going to be a compartively light 'blogging day, I'm afraid. 'Xander decided earlier this week that he wanted to transition to the night shift so he's been waking up at around 4am, staying up until 6am, and then getting back up at 8am (this from a baby who used to sleep 8-10hrs straight). So this requires a little extra parenting and a little less 'blogging on my part (if I try to 'blog and parent at the same time 'Xander will hit the CTRL-key and some other key and totally change some browser setting and it'll take me weeks to set it back :).

I will have some stuff up a bit later, though. In the meantime, check out Mark Shea's blog for, among other things, comments on the whole Blogs4God controversy (otherwise known as the "Victor needs to start reading those terms of agreement," controversy). Father Bryce begins and ends god-complex week. And Stephen Greydanus should have his review of Spy Kids 2 up soon (it's going to rock, the movie, I mean -- anything that has Ricardo Montalban in it and acknowledges that he's in a wheelchair and then makes that even cooler by having it fly has to rock).

Thanks, though, to RC (you can read his comments in many of the posts below which contain comments -- if you like what you read, encourage him to 'blog!) who fixed the mystery of the expanded page width. BlogChalk, one of the few cliques to which I'd bothered to register, moved and took their linked image with them, causing the contents of the alt= variable to sill out, making my page all wide. I never would've caught this as I was looking in completely a different direction, so thanks, RC for finding this!!

Crank the dada dial to 11

'Blog width problems aside, I'm not completely hopeless. We did get our ceiling fan installed in the "office," this evening (thanks, Grandpa Bob, for all your help!). Here's a rather stark picture of it. You can see the beginnings of the new ceiling color as well as the old green which is to be painted over. Also visible, for purposes of scale, is the marionette knight, Dorric.



Well, I could just sit here and 'blog all evening but there's still kitty-litter to change, diaper bins to empty, trash to collect, and barrels to drag to the curb. On top of all that, I have a confession to make: Jackie and I haven't seen Lord Of The Rings yet. We did get the DVD today, though, so we'll probably watch that tonight.

Yes, I know, I wouldn't believe it either, if it wasn't us; you have to realize, we only go out to movies when either a) M. Night Shyamalan (doo-dooo-doo-doo-doo! Shyamalan, doo-doo-doo-doo! Shyamalan, doo-dooo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, doo, doooo doo!*) releases a new picture (we should see Signs within the next month or so) or when b) George Lucas opens up a new Star Wars franchise.

Q: What's the difference between George Lucas and a ViewMaster?
A: You can get more than one decent picture out of a ViewMaster!

*Think "Famous Muppet Show Sketches."

Ack! My weblog is all stretchy!! It's not at all conforming to a 600px page-width. This is a disaster! Allow me to fix...
..okay, it looks fine in Opera, and I have to assume it looks fine in Netscape, as well. But not in CrazyBrowser/IE. What gives? I have all my "width"s set correctly. Hmmmmm....

I'm about to go all Bogart (in The Caine Mutiny) if I don't figure out what's causing this... it's been fine for 15 months, until now....

In brighter news, I've had already over 150 page-views today!! That's a new record for me!

Interesting day, so far: a caller in to Dr. Ray Guarendi's call-in show inquired about the psychological affects on kids of the more graphic abortion placards in regards to the protestors picketing Our Lady of Good Council (see a few posts below). Then Al Kresta devoted another 1-1/2 hours of radio time to the Father Doc/Jenny Granholm/OLGC situation (in addition to a bunch of time given to it yesterday). Very enlightening and informative. I was able to call in and give a shout out to the 'bloggers who first broke the story for most of us, but the discussion was overall very good: disbelief at the lack of leadership displayed by Fr. Doc in his really weird and anti-intellectual defense of pro-choicedom in general and "sister," Ms. Granholm in particular. and also the lack of leadership displayed by Fr. Doc's superiors. So I'm not going to bash down Adam Cardinal Maida's door anytime soon, I've cooled a bit. I think the protestors have the right idea, though -- they've even elicited a letter passed-out by "Bloody" Jenny's husband after Mass. Looks like we left that parish just when (well, a year or two before) things started to get interesting.

In this day of rattlin' sabers and itchy trigger-fingers, it may be helpful to take 45-seconds and read the Breakpoint factsheet on Just War Theory.

Kvetch all you want about Breakpoint this and that but would you rather I linked to the ICRC page on the subject? You know, I've never felt such an intellectual kinship with the Libertarians (at least not since college anyway) than I do these days.

NEOCONS GO FOR THE GOLD: Saudi Arabia, Jordan targets of Israel Firsters

This is too cool

Father Bryce has some pretty darn neat things to say about Robot Love what ain't never been said before on his blog. Thanks, Father Bryce!!

(The answer, of course, is that Victor Lams, LTD, is a fully-owned, privately-traded subsidiary of HumanoRoboticTechtronics Industries, a multinational corporation headquartered in Brussels with regional offices in Singapore, Bali, and Plymouth, MI, and grossing more than USD$300 billion annually. Look around your house: you probably have a HuRoTech product closeby. If you want objectification of the other and existential confusion, turn to HuRoTech Industries: "Better living through fear and/either/or trembling.").

Anything's better than "Victor Lick'd'er"

Yay! Nihil found my "palsm!" He did catch me on the "abtact nouns," though. Hey, what can I say: I 'blog one of two ways -- drunk or getting drunk.

Just kidding.

Anyway, I've rectalized those typos.

Let's see their entertainment do this!

Hey, I don't know if you all get the new Blockbuster TV commercials out where you live or not. The new ads feature the not-very-originally-named Carl the bunny rabbit and Ray the guinea pig (I would've named the guinea pig "Puffer," and the bunny rabbit "Stokes," myself) who live in the petstore across the mall concourse from a Blockbuster store. Well, the first two commercials weren't all that great, I thought, but this new one, "Kung Fu," is hilarious. Notice the little face Ray makes just before Carl asks him if he just whacked him with a carrot ("Ooh!"). Hopefully you'll get to see the longer version with the Ninja Mice and they don't cut it off right after the carrot-whack in order to show you pretty pictures of the LOTR DVD box.

The commercials, themselves, can be found here, for your downloading pleasure -- so long as you don't mind listening to that ersatz Jackson 5 rhythm loop over and over and over and over and over... I guess there's a way to turn it off, though.

I always seem to come to the party late...

Here's the link to the post at FreeRepublic (which I discovered only today, because of this story) which contains the scanned Parish Bulletin (if you can't read the article, itself -- i.e. if you don't have a Hotmail account and can't access it -- you can click on the Amy Welborn link in the next paragraph which contains the text) from Our Lady of Good Counsel (three miles from our house) in which the Associate Pastor "Father Doc," exonerates "Bloody" Jenny Granholm and all pro-aborts everywhere by basically saying (and I can't misrepresent his argument, really, because it makes no sense. But, then, if you've ever sat through a homily at Our Lady of Good Reception -- as I call it because their hideous new Church has this ponderous huge disc or dish on top of its roof; really, I'll snap a picture of it sometime -- as Jackie and I had the misfortune of doing for almost a year until we "discovered," St. Kenneth and her wonderful pastor Fr. Joe, also in Plymouth -- you would be used to it) that Christianity is really a pro-choice religion because the State (always capital S with these folks) gives everyone everywhere the right to choose. "We the Christians," he's basically saying, "endowed by the State with certain rights, that they're good enough to bestow upon us, think whatever they decide is pretty groovy. Peace out, stop picking on me and my pimp."

Amy Welborn's 'blog has by far the best write-up, with the actual text, of the bulletin article.

Apparently, and this was my idea so many months ago, I just never had the guts to actually DO IT, folks have been protesting OLGC because "Bloody" Jenny Granholm, who, as Right-To-Life of Michigan reports is a member of extreme left-wing pro-abort group Emily's List is not only a parishoner in good standing there, she is a lector as well. That's right: the attorney general of Michigan, the Democratic gubernatorial candidate for the state of Michigan, a 100% died-in-the-wool pro-abortion politician through-and-through, gets up in front of a Catholic Church and gives the word of God to the people -- would anyone care to guess as to whether or not she receives Communion? Father Doc, he says, feels "persecuted," by these folks who are "misguided." What an ass.

This is obviously a scandal of the highest degree (forget that comparatively penny-ante homosexual priest business -- the real abuser priests are the Father Docs who don't intend to just corrupt a handful of boys for sexual gratification but intend to corrupt entire parishes with their sophistic horse-puckey). So obviously Adam Cardinal Maida has to step in and take control. I have my doubts as to whether or not this will happen. For an Irishman (with an accent and everything), he's pretty timid.

One of the coolest Catholics I've ever known anywhere (and this is "real," cool, not the sort of affected cool I every so often manage to pull off here) has his own blog. Check it out. That's an order, soldier!!! (Sorry, we watched Mail Call this week on the History Channel).

PrayTheNews from the Carmelites of Indianapolis. I don't know if these are real Carmelites or not. I expected something a bit more mystic-y.

In terms of design, this site is almost too beautifully done to exist in this world. However, apparently I need to start reviewing actual content (thanks, as always, RC!), as well as being taken in by beautiful (although lynx-unfriendly) design. My personal web-design philosophy is this: if someone without a browser capable of viewing images or running javascript cannot view your site, then what good is it to the millions in the third-world with the kerosene-powered MSN Internet-TV devices? Aren't those, really, the folks we're trying to reach with insight on the stock market and (in my case) reviews of They Might Be Giants albums? Design/Content quoibles aside, on this we can all agree: when they play towards their strengths (or "core competencies," as we say in business), Carmelites rule.

Thanks to both of YOU, dear readers, the link to my 'blog at Blogs4God comes up with a neat green "cool," next to it.

Aside from voting for my 'blog there, I would suggest you check out the little 'blog by 'blog rundown they have at the Blogs4God homepage. It's a pretty good run-down of what's 'bloggin' on: synopsis without the sycophants, you might say (if you were me).

All RIGHT! NPR finally did something useful with all those tax dollars and broadcast equipment and interviewed They Might Be Giants upon the release of their kids album, No!. It's a very nice interview, with plenty of audio samples to change the minds of anyone who still doubts the mastery of TMBG (though the best songs on the album, in my opinion, didn't make it into the interview).

Ex-Boyfriend Loses Bid to Halt an Abortion

In an interview, Ms. Meyers said that having to explain herself to the court and then wait to hear what she would be allowed to do was hard.
"It's not something the court system should entertain," she said. "I felt extremely violated. I still feel violated that my life was made so public. It's just been emotional torture."
"I'll say," replied her then quickly-aborted child. "I heard the Judge's ruling and went to pieces!"

We're the kids in America (whoa oh)
We're the kids in America (whoa oh)
Everybody live with the music go round (round round round round)

We voted today -- did you?

Oh, and if anyone is going to be in Ann Arbor this weekend, you must check out Karrin Allyson at the Firefly Club (we can't go, obviously). Karrin is probably one of my favorite contemporary jazz singers (her From Paris to Rio album is a must-listen, if not a must-own). She's been on the scene for years but has never enjoyed the mainstream attention that Diana Krall is getting now (I really enjoyed Diana's music once, back when she was a player, before she became a sort of Harry Connick, Jr. poster-girl for slow, saccharine ballads. Somewhat distressingly, Kurt Elling is moving in this direction as well). Anyway, check her out in Ann Arbor this weekend and it looks like she has a great new CD coming out in a week or so.

This goofy MIDI-file version of Credence Clearwater Revival's "Down on the Corner," has been playing over and over and over while I surf, courtesy of the Frequently Asked Questions about Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs page Jackie had up. It actually grows on you after the third or fourth (hundred) repitition... I can feel my brain slowly and not unpleasantly softened by the artificial shakuhachi and the highly-compressed drum samples. And please don't even get me started on the cowbell: donk! donk! donk! donk! donk! donk! donk! donk! Down on the corner, down in the street, somebody bring a nickel, and something move your feet.

Free Cell Block F, 'Tis Nazi U.S.A.
(With apologies to Charles Mingus)

Part I
80-year-old WWII vet arrested after joke at airport
Just steps from boarding a 7:30 a.m. flight they had almost missed, he saw the screener poking into his wallet. ... "I said, `What do you expect to find in there, a rifle?'" he said. When the trooper asked me, `Do you think that was an appropriate remark?' I said, `I do.'" That's when Hubbell was taken into custody by Trooper Wayne Foster.

Part II
Circuit Judge Strikes Down School Voucher Law
``We knew when a judge looked at it that he would side with us,'' said Maureen Dinnen, president of the Florida Education Association, the state's teachers union and a plaintiff challenging the voucher program. ``It is absolutely wrong to divert tax money to private schools. Now we can focus on public schools again.''

Eve Tushnet is back and 'blogging up a storm for lost 'blog time.

Okay, I need to tell you about what happened in Salzburg, those nearly five years ago. Prior to my exploits with the two Russian businessmen and their "escort," high atop the mountain fortress, and somewhere between the fourth and fifth liter of stout Austrian beer I'd imbibed the night before the day containing the exploits with said Russians, I happened to be walking pass the paupers' grave in which Mozart was buried. There, I beheld a curious sight: a human skeleton, glowing, frantically erasing little black dots from manuscript paper. Alarmed, I ran up to the gravedigger's hut and pounded on the door. A wiry old man came to the door and asked me what the fuss was about. In broken German I related to him as best I could what I had seen. He smiled, ndded, and then, putting his finger to his lips, he spoke to me in heavily-accented English: "Please be quiet, my friend. There is no need to fuss. This is just the maestro, decomposing."

Okay -- so it's an old joke, but I like it. And everything up until the part about the skeleton is true. So there.

Okay, so I've just joined the discussion lists of the Catholic Writers Association (I assume there's only one). Watch my inspiration and creative output soar as I spend whatever free time I had reading posts to the list and responding to them.

Sigh.

If it's true that you are known by the company you keep (or kept) then I'm very embarassed that this picture (which, by the way, was taken over two years ago before Bernie was implicated in any of this mess and also before I'd gained that weight during Jackie's pregnancy) is still circulating on the Internet:



If you click on the picture itself, you'll be taken to the webpage which, while I enjoy it very much of course, refuses to let this embarassing photo die. I feel like Dr. Laura (no, no links to the Dr. Laura pictures, sorry). Ugh.

Something a bit sobering (or should that be sombering?) in our parish bulletin today. As Father Joe (no, not Farmer Joe -- FATHER Joe) is on vacation in Malta still, the music director gets the (now in full-color) cover space. While I really like our current music director in that he's actually made an effort to fire up the pipe organ every now and then and will occasionally (you know, once every eight or nine weeks or so) sing the correct psalm for that Sunday (unlike today where we sang "the Lord is compassion to all creation," over and over which doesn't seem grammatically correct enough even to be a psalm: the Lord can be compassionate to all creation... but I don't think "compassion," is one of those abstract nouns which can be turned into some sort of verbal whatever like that -- it's like a gerund, but a gerund goes the other way, from verb to noun, so this would be like an anti-gerund, almost, but I digress...). Anyway, we also sing those goshawful Marty Haugen (do an archive search -- above -- on "antithesis of all that is Good and Right,") songs every week with, every so often, a nod to the pre-Vatican-II crowd in the form of some old hymn written by John Calvin.

So it was with some horror that I read that our music director plans on creating a "contemporary ensemble," ostensibly for purposes of having said ensemble perform at Mass. Is anyone familiar with what is meant these days by "contemporary ensemble?" I suspect guitars (electric, this time) and drums -- an ensemble contemporary to the 1970s, in other words, as a TRULY contemporary ensemble would almost certainly have a DJ, two turntables, an MC, and B.B. King filling in somewhere. Gad. I suppose it's true that you can't please all of the people all of the time, but at the same time it's also true that there are certain people you just do not, under any circumstances, want to piss off. I suspect we'll be seeing that latter sort of folk come out of the woodwork (our Church is all woodwork, no stained glass or stone) should a "contemporary ensemble," actually see the light of day (which is uncolored as it comes into our Church, again, without the benefit of being filtered through stained glass). I almost want to sign up on "Time and Talent," day with my special talents as "bongoes, tambourine, and jaw-harp."

Ah, well... just keep telling myself that there's always that Melkite rite Church in town...

Hey, everyone!! Father Bryce is back!

As our planet shrinks, it's becoming more and more rare to find videogames in which the dialogue or text has been poorly translated (or localized) from the Japenese to English. Gone are the days, I'm afraid, where every time you popped in a cartridge you could expect an "All your base are blong to us," or popping in a disc could summon a "master of unlocking," from your playstation. The Sega Genesis was probably the worst for this because the third party developers on that system seemed to have been pressured into releasing games quickly for that system and never seemed to have adequate resources to properly localize titles (except for, of course, Working Designs). I must have played "Mystic Defender," on the Genesis for about 120 hours and never found out what the heck it was about, who I was, or what was going on. Perhaps this has contributed to my frequent existential crises. Who knows.

Anyway, I'm happy to say that the spirit of poorly-translated text is still alive and well. Witness the first few lines from the opening cinema of Hudson's Bomberman Generation for Nintendo Gamecube: "In the infinitely expanding universe... This is where energy unfathomable... To humankind is overflowing."

Huh?! But not only that, it grows on you.

Meet the newest members of The VRC*



I call them Click and Clack (Click's on the left, Clack's on the left) in honor of Tom and Ray, the Car Talk brothers, and also because I don't know their real names. Their faces also light up when you push down on the button on top of their heads, but right when this picture was taken they were taking a break. Please welcome the new Robots!

*The Victor Robot Crew

Hi! In case you're wondering just what the text behind the et cetera logo above is, it is from one of my very early entries last year, chosen at random because I needed some text behind the logo. The original entry may be found here.

One of the shows Jackie and I are making part of our Friday night summer routine is USA's new detective show, Monk. First off, Tony Shalhoub is good in anything he does, and it's a real shame that the show he did with Doogie Howser ("Stark Raving Mad,") didn't last beyond a season. But now he's producing his own detective show. I think detective shows, as a genre, are dying due to the sophistication of their audiences (how are you going to keep them guessing -- and not be cheap about it -- after they've seen Memento?). But Monk works. It's a little predictable (they practically shout CLUE! in terms of their shot composition, etc., whenever anything "important," is being shown) but the various characters make it a lot of fun.

But what's up with Sharona's accent? Is she supposed to be from San Francisco (where the show supposedly takes place), Brooklyn, or Toronto? Nearly every actor on the show is Canadian (which makes it very amusing when one of the extras tries to take on an ethnic accent), and the entire thing looks like it was shot in Alberta. But despite the jarring accents and scenery, it's a very enjoyable show. Because Tony Shalhoub is in it, yes, but for other reasons, too.

Catholics build a `parish' without walls on Net (Note: bothersome "free," registration required to view story).

Yay. For once I'm "with it," before the Chicago Tribune catches up with me! What's cool is that they mention a lot of the blogs I visit every day. I don't know, though, where I fit in at St. Blog's parish. I guess I'm the Ronin Shadow member of St. Blogs. You know, the guy in the white mask who appears in a cloud of white smoke every so often in the choir loft wearing a long purple cape just before swinging down on a rope. What? Your parish doesn't have one of those? Nevermind, then.

But hey -- any story that can bring me 80 page-views in a day (and in Chicago time, it's only 8pm!)? Keep 'em coming! Oh, and to all of you visiting for the first time: WELCOME! and buy my CD. Or, if you're on the fence, check out free mp3s (note: slightly less pointless free registration required).

Ugh. I was all set to fire up the keyboards and write a new song but they're not hooked up and I'm too tired.

I guess this is not a very inspirational post....

Time for a new contest:
Top Jams Over 9 Minutes In Length

The two main criteria for this contest are these: the song must be over nine minutes in length AND it must keep your butt moving the entire time.

Bootsy Collins (and Bootsy's Rubber Band): Munchies For Your Love (off of the album Ahh, The Name is Bootsy, Baby!). Nine minutes, thirty-eight seconds.

Herbie Hancock: Chameleon and Sly (both off of the album Headhunters). Fifteen minutes, forty-three seconds and Ten Minutes, twenty seconds. (Yes, two off the same album because it's such a great albim).

Ohio Players: Good Luck Charm (off the album Jam). Nine minutes, thirty-seven seconds. This is a slow butt-moving song (time was, they called 'em "babymakers," and ain't nothing wrong with that)....

Parliament: Funkentelechy (off the album Funkentelechy VS. The Placebo Syndrome). Ten minutes, fifty-nine seconds.

Trey Anastasio: Last Tube (off the album Trey Anastasio). Eleven minutes, twenty-two seconds.

Funkadelic: (Not Just) Knee Deep (off the album Uncle Jam Wants You). Fifteen minutes, twenty seconds.

Freddie Hubbard: Red Clay (off the album Red Clay). Twelve minutes, eleven seconds.

Parliament: Deep (off the album The Motor Booty Affair). Nine minutes, nine seconds.

Honorable Mention:
Not a booty-moving jam, per se, but could be used for cool-down after any of the jams above:
Miles Davis: All Blues (off the album Kind of Blue). Eleven minutes, thirty-five seconds.

Those are mine, listed in no particular order. Add your own in the comments section below.

Much mutal adoration going on in the comments section of this post at Mark Shea's blog by the "nuke Saddam any every other Arab within 5,000 miles of Israel," crowd.

Really: if you want to know why "onservatives," nowadays are so despised by anyone to the left of them, it's not because (as conservatives would like to think) conservatives have principles and liberals don't, it's because conservatives, just like liberals, don't really consider the foundation of the issues beyond a sort of reflexive "USA good, Saddam bad," sort of reaction. And when they DO consider somethig, it's never to question, but only to justify what they already know in their minds. This process usually involves some sort of Utilitarian Calculus: Bombing Saddam now would kill 30,000 Iraqi civilians, but it'd be worth it because we'd save the lives, potentially, of a couple million Israelis -- we hate to do it, but that's the world today for ya.... Never mind that Saddam has been about as agressive towards us lately as shower mildew (which actually does, now that I think about it, pose a health problem to Americans -- unlike Saddam).

Another thing to consider: what is a peace-maker and why are they blessed? Peacemakers don't believe in waging war to bring about peace (i.e because if you support war, you give up your claim to peace) -- at least as far as temporal powers are concerned. In this world, you become a peacemaker by accepting peace into your heart and giving up your love of war. I get the impression that being a peacemaker is hard, and that's why they are so estemed by God.

So, in other words, if you really want to do battle, first examine your own conscience and see if there's anything there that needs to be whupped. Failing that, pick up a video game.

Otherwise, wait until they bring the fight to your doorstep and then deal with the matter as cleanly as you can.

Anyways, I've got to dig up a number for Stuebenville and see if they're still accepting registrations for that conference thingy next month.

reliquary and true cross relic with document
19th c Gothic Reliquary-47 Saints of November

It really is astonishing the amount of relics you can find on eBay. Please, someone, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the sale of relics was prohibited? Or was that only the sale by Church clergy of relics? Astounding, anyway, and if I had a million dollars I would spend it all on buying up these precious relics. (NOTE: Don't bid on the second auction up there... We might go for it -- it has relics of St. Charles Borromeo, St. John of the Cross, and St. Cecelia and if you bid on it you'll only mess us up ;).

Oh, and I came to another realization tonight (well, not so much came to it as reaffirmed it): I love the Pope. I would die for the man. And the coolest thing of all is that if I follow God's commandments there's a very good chance I could spend eternity with him. Whoever said they'd go to Heaven for the atmosphere but they'd go to Hell for the company was a very sad individual indeed. Because, it is also true that while men and women are very different in their virtues, they are all too similar in their vices and sins. So -- if you love the Pope as much as I do, make sure you go to Heaven and maybe I'll see you there (well, after several thousand, thousand years in Purgatory, in my case at least).

Another fine piece from Joe Sobran

Joe Sobran -- The English Insult

"One of the most famous is John Wilkes's retort to the Earl of Sandwich, who predicted that Wilkes would die "either on the gallows or of a loathsome disease." Wilkes instantly replied, "That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."

Why I'm not impressed with Professor Cyborg

There but for the grace of God go I.

Seriously, I'll have some thoughts on this and Robots in general when I complete my "Culture of Robots," article I'm working on for Slant (whether or not they know it).

Hemp Sisters Inc. Back to the Future Naturally with hemp clothing and accessories.

No one can call them a crunchy or granola conservative until they sport something from Hemp Sisters.

TV Guide's 50 "greatest," cartoon characters of all time

WARNING: Herein venom be spewed.

That list is a travesty!!! Just another example of how TVGuide CONTINUOUSLY panders to the secularist humanist gestalt of the baby boomers!

PLEASE -- The (postmodern "xmas," hero) Grinch at number 5 and (the nasty, darling children of the Boomers' favorite) Amanda Pickles at number 7?! Porky Pig at 47?! And where the heck is Gertie the Dinosaur?! Or Yosemite Sam for that matter? Foghorn Leghorn? They're nowhere to be seen, their rightful place taken by foulmouthed nihilist Cartman and those (factual statement) jerk-offs Beavis and Butthead (at number 4!!!). At least Gumby made the list (by some miracle) but where the hell is his pony pal Pokey? And it's not "Bill," you morons, that's "MR. Bill," to you.

TVGuide's agenda is again made perfectly clear -- tear down the old, classical institutions with their rich cultural heritage and then once the utter destruction has been completed, erect some profane pop-culture idol in their place. Well, I, for one, will not let this stand. I've watched cartoons for far too long to just stand by and let my beloved heroes get buggered in some idiot survey.

Epiphany

I just had a minor (major? who can tell at first?) epiphany. As it had been over six months since my last epiphany, I was quite comforted to be receiving one. Anyway, I'll not bore you with the details or circumstances, but suffice it to say that I think a seed has been planted (and I'm probably going to mix metaphors here, there's just no way around it) and while I don't know what the flower will look like when it blossoms, I am led to consider what I had previously considered to be my (what?) vocation/path/calling/whatever (all possible three of them). Anyway, I don't know what will come of it, but I'm beginning to understand how I can make a (positive!) difference in a unique and (hopefully, ultimately) valuable way (if I choose to focus and work at it, which is up to me).

What sparked all of this? It was the realization that non-traditional forms of worship (songs, mainly) are not bad by their virute of being non-traditional. No, the vast majority of them are bad by virtue of just being really crummy, meaningless, and fraudulent/inauthentic. I'm speaking of songs written by people who seem to subsist entirely on a diet of cream cheese and mayo sandwiches on white bread with the crust cut off. This in itself, you will recognize, is not a particularly profound or unique observation, but it's not one I had accepted into my heart (me being a child of the '60s... the 1560s, that is). Now, I'm not going to rush out and join a charismatic Church (though there is a very fine one just down the road), but I will be doing... well, I have no idea what...

I am still, however, planning on a) finishing up the screenplay, b) rewriting the first novel, c) working on a second album, and d) writing a second novel so DON'T go getting any ideas that the world has somehow heard the last of me... oh, no sir.....

Guestmap is back up! I lost all the pins I had collected (though this is not as sad as the time when I was 9 and I wrecked the light-up Goodyear Blimp model I had waited 2 years to get because I was too tired to properly handle that corrosive plastic-model glue). I don't need pity pins, but if you want to leave a pin, that's cool. You're a beautiful person for leaving me a pin. And if you already left me a pin and then you leave me another pin, you're that much more beautiful.

Ugh. I can't believe it's 1am and I still need to take the trash out to the curb. For a buck-a-bag they should come into your house and get it.

Ah, well. In such uncertain times as these one could do worse than to stop and do the Victor Dance:

Direct hit! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! (Joe Sobran scores another direct hit).

John Lindh, Patriot

"Don't we have the right to emigrate? Is this the Soviet Union? So Lindh skipped the tedious paperwork and inconvenience of changing his citizenship under U.S. law. That's a technicality that doesn't affect his moral right to leave. So why all the moral indignation?

"The angry mob insists that it was treason for Lindh to fight back against an invasion by the government he was born under, even after he had long since renounced it. In fact the U.S. Government considers it criminal even for natives of other countries to resist American invasions."

This is one of the most lively columns by Joe Sobran I've read in a while. This article also defines why anyone who considers themselves to be a "conservative," needs to be reading Joe Sobran -- that is, of course unless you don't like learning about yourself and what's become of your movement.

He's really the only "conservative," who's got it right.

The New Thought Police: Inside the Left's Assault on Free Speech and Free Minds

This book looks pretty darned interesting (you know, in that O'Reily Factor kind of way: brash and brazen), but not like anything I'd need to read.

I'm not being aloof when I say that. I just mean, I'm not some starry-eyed centrist who would be amazed at a "lesbian feminist's," (as if there could ever be such a thing) realization that the Left tries to control our thoughts. Of course it does! (Dim the lights, turn on the slide projector).

Modern-Day Liberalism is Old-Time Puritanism.

And once you realise that, you don't need to read books like this. Everything follows as of a piece.

ART + ART = JUNK

Comments are buggin', the guestmap is buggin'...

It's one of those days :)

Update: Comments should now be fixed. Leave me some! :)

Very cool design... I'll need to check this out when I have some time.

They Made Me A Catholic - the People and Questions that pointed me toward Rome

Psychopaths Among Us

So yesterday at work a co-worker comes up to me and asks me a question: "A woman went to her mother's funeral and there she met a guy and hit it off really great with him. The next week, she killed her sister. Why?"

I answered after half-a-second: becuase the guy was her sister's husband.

My co-worker replied that a lot of people answer the question that way, but a psychopath would answer (and apparently this is a question they often ask of psychopaths) "So she could have the guy take her to her sister's funeral."

Which, when you think about it, would make sense -- if you're a psychopath.

So I've made some subtle changes to my 'blog layout in order to make it more pleasing to the eye (and easier to follow because, let's face it, some of these posts can use all the help they can get).

Coming soon (like, by Friday): AUDIO 'BLOG UPDATES (In Stereo Where Available) -- another fine idea which will probably fail horribly in its execution (Vanilla Coke, anyone?). But don't wait for that to happen, download RealPlayer (or RealONE Player or One-Reel Playah, or whatever it's called these days).

Good News and Bad News and Good News (and Bad News) about Ghostbusters 3

Good News: Dan Ackroyd wrote a script (like, three years ago).

Bad News: Columbia won't make it because it would cost too much (i.e. for the same reason that they said there'd never be a Men In Black 2).

Good News: This is probably a good thing: it looks like a younger crop of Ghostbusters pretty much has the limelight -- Venkman doesn't even come in until the last 10 minutes, it sounds like. And we all know what happens when a younger crop of Ghostbusters takes over: we have that multi-culti, differentially-abled Extreme Ghostbusters cartoon for Exibit A (though the original "Real," Ghostbusters seem to have been represented there, even if just a little: Egon -- with the soft-serve hair -- was their leader).

Bad News: Who cares? Ghostbusters 3 would still rock and it bites that Columbia doesn't seem to want to make it.

Update: the guestmap seems to be temporarily acting funky for me. Try it and if it doesn't work, give it a few hours ;)

A note on Gospel Music

GospelFlava.com - Reviews - Darius Brooks & SDM Incorporated (I Had To Trust You)

Darius Brooks is one of the best Gospel piano players I've ever heard. He's also got outstanding composing and arranging chops so I'm pleased to see that he's out front, now, leading his own groups. I'll most certainly have to pick these recordings up.

I was first turned on to Mr. Brooks when I picked up Rev. Milton Brunson and The Thomspon Community Singers' superb Through God's Eyes recording (released in 1993, I bought it used in '95 or '96) at Schoolkids Records. It totally blew my socks off and clear across the room. There are several moments on that recording which give you that strange tingly feeling all over. Seriously, there's a part in "Guide My Feet," where the soloist shouts "Lord, I don't want to go the wrong way / I only want to see You someday," and the sheer sorrow/jubilation/dependence/resolution in her voice at that moment sums up every one's "walk," as they say perfectly and you can feel her entire experience mix with yours and permeate every fiber of your being.

Anyway, if you can find a copy of this recording (and Amazon seems to carry it), check it out. Not only is it the finest example of Chicago-style gospel I've heard (and of the various gospel musics, Chicago-style is my clear favorite) but it's the finest gospel recording I own. I come back to this CD as often as I can and it's always there to nourish me. Seriously: when I heard this CD I almost made plans to go to Chicago for the weekend just to hear this choir perform. And you know: I'm never been really certain why I never went.

Anyway, the recording, "Through God's Eyes," by Rev. Milton Brunson and the Thompson Community Singers gets FIVE STARS (out of five).

Man Hijacks Al-Qaida Web Site

"When it comes to monitoring the Internet and exploiting it, you have to leave it to the professionals."

The same professionals, no doubt, who appear to have totally bungled yet another counter-terrorism opportunity.

Hey: wouldn't a better title for that article have been: "Porn Peddler Possesses Patriotism, Procures Prime Packets -- Police Powerless?"

So that flotilla of pilot whales (a little known fact: a large grouping of whales is called a flotilla, unless they be narwhal or orca and then they're called an armada) is back in the news and stuck again. This timem they're stuck in the mud. And instead of just blowing them all up and having the pieces of whale meat fall from the sky in inidividually wrapped and labelled meat packs (hey -- I've seen the cartoons!) it sounds like they're going to try and save them (again).

BUT at least we now know what kind of pilot whales they are.

They're American West Pilot Whales!!

Ha ha ha ha ha...

Ahem...

Oh! What's that over there? (Sound of retreating footsteps and a door slamming).

I first checked this site out about six or seven years ago (as a guest book entry on the site will confirm) and at the time found it to be the most comprehensive resource on the web regarding all things P-Funk (since the CD reissues didn't have the comic books from the original '70s-era LPs the New Funk Times was the only place to get these comics and follow the interstellar exploits of Starchild and his arch-nemesis Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk). I'm happy to see that it's not only still active, but still the best source on the web for P-Funkadelica: Peter Jebsen's New Funk Times

Check out the info and streaming video pertaining to Bootsy's new album, too! The mothership lands all over again in just a coupla months (to paraphrase EWF, we'll be dancing in September)! I am distressed, though, to not see Bernie "Woo" Worrell's name on the list of contributors. Nor do I see Junie Morrison's name on that list. IMHO, those were two of the best reasons to listen to Parliament/Funkadelic. Hopefully they're included on the record and just not listed on the website yet.

Mayize told me yesterday that a friend of hers found "Robot Love," at a garage sale this past weekend (it was more of a moving sale, actually. You see, they were moving from Michigan to Seattle and, as the airlines only allow one piece of carryon luggage, obviously they had to chose between my CD and a toothbrush. It's a hard decision and I don't know, myself, which one I would've picked, so I can respect their choice in this regard -- whoever they are).
For those of you who may be holding out for a similar serendipitous find, be advised: there is a far more easy way.

If you haven't checked out BraveNet yet, why, get over there and do so! They have all sorts of neat web "tools," like that guest map up there. Check it out and leave me a pin so I knows where y'all from.

It is time to have a National Public Radio-style Revival -- a "Come To Terri (Gross!) Meeting." Yes, that's right folks, ol' Victor needs your help.
I struggle each week to bring you the best in 'blogging, and here's the part where you help me help you.
I need each and every one of you (yes, all four of you) to, just as quick as you can, vote for my 'blog over at Blogs4God (which is a really neat site and you should check out the rest of it just as soon as you're done saying something nice about my 'blog).
Why am I humbling myself so? Well, like most of you, I 'blog to seek fame, fortune, and the accolades of my socio-economic peers and, loathe as I am to admit this, I cannot do it without your help.
But wait, don't just rush on over there just yet! No -- wait until you hear what former president James Buchanan has to say about my 'blog:


"As former president, I must admit I've seen a lot of 'blogs. But none make me say 'Oy!' quite so readily and so heartily as this charming specimen!"
-Former President James Buchanan

As convincing as that endorcement is, James Buchanan is only one man. And I hear he is also a dead man, at that (and that little detail prevents him from commenting on the Blogs4God site). So you see, James and I cannot do this alone. We are in desperate need of your help on this one. We know you have a choice while 'blogging and we'd love to be able to continue to bring you the unreasonably high-quality of 'blogging you've come to expect from Mark Shea's er, this weblog I mean, but we can't do it alone.
No: we cannot do it alone.

Intermezzo:

"I thought you told me love conquered all?"
"They had a more powerful love."

It's refreshing to know that in this day of smart drugs, Ecstacy, uh, ravers, and techno-music they're still making something as good and wholesome as POSTUM.

MIDI Organist Writes Book In Progress About His Life, & World!

It is time once again, Gentle Reader, to check in on George "Crazy Midiman," Foster as he writes his book-in-progress. His latest proposal: cook all the Evil people for food.

globeandmail.com - World Youth Day

A secular press account that made me weepy.

From our cool stuff by obsessive fans file:

Battlemech Tree House
(Very, very, very cool. When I see something like this I am genuinely and overtly proud to be an American. I also hope that 'Xander never discovers that some dad built this for his kids.

The world's largest custom-made Star Wars toy
I am made only slightly less proud to be an American by this Rebel Blockade Runner, built to the scale of those 3-3/4" Hasbro (Kenner!!) Star Wars figures. Semi not included.

Dispatch your own Ninja? How cool is that!!?

Update: My ninja, BuBu, has been killed by Denis. How lame is that?

More from the ICEL mock-wack translations contest:

Here's one from the Gospel of Luke, which explains why the ICEL's wack translations form the scriptural basis for wack contemporary Church architecture (that is to say, sans great Romanesque towers):

For longer form, read the portions in brackets

Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them,
"If anyone [comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.
"Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
"For which one of you, when he] wants to build a tower, [does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?
"Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to] ridicule him,
[saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.']

See the World's Cutest Baby in his new epic Cracker et Mirror. (Approximately 2 minutes in length and it requires a reasonably quick broadband connection to stream. Or, if you have only dial-up, you can right-click-save-as and wait for a few hours. It's worth it).

From our E. Michael Rose Architectural Atrocities File (EMRAAF):

Plans and construction photos of the new Church they're building over at St. Mary's Church in the Diocese of Orlando. This is interesting because it's the first "worship-space," ever designed by PoMo Prophet Michael Graves. As the preceding article says of PostModern architecture: it may be dead, but Michael Graves chugs on. And now, thanks to the Diocese of Orlando, parishoners will be able to enjoy his horrific monstrousity for many years to come and someday future generations may become so desensitized to it that they may even be able to pray in it without distraction at its sheer and immense ugliness (but I would not bet any money on that). Meanwhile, Sancta Rosa in the same Diocese (gotta give props to St. Rose as her feastday is my birthday), is trying to eke together enough for a simple social hall.

But seriously: I've seen Michael Graves' stuff at Target. Some of it looks pretty cool (we had a Michael Graves spatula holder once until it was replaced with a ceramic crock). But from out of which orafice of his old, white body did he pull this dog?

While you're at the St. Mary's Catholic Community website, why not check out the Weekly Letter from Pastor Fr. Nicholas King. Judging from the column dated July 21st, at least, he seems to be pretty well on the mark (how often do you hear pro-life sentiment in your pastor's weekly column?). How on earth did he get stuck with this building?

Cleaning up the office up here ("my room,") and boy is it a mess. It's chiefly filled with papers which have been accumulating over the past three years (or more). A lot of old work papers which can just be tossed (along with the Amazon.com receipts, old modem, answering machine, and several-years-worth of The New Oxford Review) but there has been the occasional letter or item imbued with nostalgia to give me pause. With every such item, I wonder how much I've changed in the last two or three years since I last considered that item. And each time I reach the same conclusion: I'm a lot more tired now and I don't know if I have a lot, creatively speaking, to show for it. Why aren't I the poet I started out to be?

Well, it's not all sturm and drang: I did find this logo I made up for a (fictional) Do-It-Yourself Vermilion kit called "VermiliOn Your Own."

Solving the Sex-Abuse Scandal in the Church

I have been quiet on this subject for a very long time, but no more. It's clear the Bishops don't know the way out of this mess and it's clear that the the progressive-minded laity and mainstream media don't either. This is because no one recognizes the source of the problem at the root of the scandal. They don't know what, or who, they are dealing with.

They are dealing with Evil: The Evil One. Plain and simple. And as someone who's watched a few movies I know that you need certain things to fight Evil (and the Keating Commission ain't one of them!). These are, in no particular order:

Holy Water: Lots of holy water. This needs to be blessed by a priest before you set out and must be kept in little vials. Even though you need a lot of it, you can't carry it around in big drums or bless more on the way. You just can't. Little vials, blessed before you leave.
Crosses: Preferably these should be of the crucifx variety, but if you're a Protestant or a TV producer, regular wooden crosses sans-corpus will do in a pinch.
A Priest: And this has to be a Catholic Priest. No froo-froo woman Episcopalian here. The older the priest the better. It's possible to go with a non-Max-Von-Sydow-esque priest but, if you do, he has to have a lot of stubble and also have recently lost his faith. This is essential! Unless you think, maybe, you'd care to try an exorcism yourself?
A Shotgun: Another essential item. While Mossbergs would be my personal choice for home security, when fighting evil only a sawed-off Winchester will do (possibly a 1300 series). Winchester doesn't make shotguns anymore and, while they have licenced their name, you may want to check your attic for the genuine article before buying new.
A Bible: Duh. Since we're not using it for study or exegesis a King James Version will do fine in this case (also, it has the requisite thees and thous -- though the Douay-Rheims would be just as good).
An Old Pick-Up Truck: You need something big and powerful, that's for certain. And since no one is going to loan you their brand new Dodge or F150, especially not when you tell them you're going to hit a few-dozen zombies with it, you're stuck with an older truck. While I'm a Ford man, myself, it's widely accepted that old Chevys are more suited for Evil-fighting.
A Chainsaw: As far as I'm concerned, this is just optional equipment: something you'd only take along for style points. In itself it has no Evil-fighting value. But if you choose not to bring a chainsaw, you will most certainly need...
A Samauri Sword: This is another one of those essential items. You may not think you'd need it with the crosses and the shotgun, but think about it: what happens with the Priest becomes possessed or, for some other reason, needs to kill himself for the good of the group? Huh? And you just know that that shotgun is going to run out of ammo sometime, right? You'll be glad you have it.

Which just leaves the most essential thing you'll need to fight Evil and stop the scandal:

A Raison D'Etre: Why are you even fighting Evil? Do you know? What's at stake? What do you hope to gain? What do you stand to lose? You had better know the answers to these questions and many others before you even start down this path. Greater men and women than you have tried and, because they didn't ask themselves these questions, they have failed.

Now -- Go fight Evil!

Sometimes you just gotta put down the stud sensor and use the Force (and the carpenter's sqaure). The shelves are up!!!



The shelves, by the way, I found on clearance at Meijer's (yes, that's a Mid-Western thing ;) for about four-dollars-each (including brackets and hardware). The "Celtic," brackets were silver, initially, but Jackie painted them with gold, brown, and black paint to give them a considerably more rustic look, which fits a lot better into our kitchen.

Oh, and as it was raining I watched The Enemy Below (1957) on American Movie Classics starring Robert Mitchum and Curt Jürgens. This is a very, very fine war movie and probably the best "submarine," movie I've seen. The ending somehow manages to satsify both the movie-going crowd of 1957 and my more post-Vietnam, Gen-X, "Not All German U-Boat Captains Were Evil," slant (although, lately, I've noticed that the WWII-era Germans are becoming monolithically evil again). I was also surprised to learn that Curt Jürgens, who plays the U-Boat captain (to Robert Mitchum's American destroyer captain), was actually sent to a concentration camp in Germany because he was politically undesirable.

Argh!!!.... Stupid, lying stud sensor!!! I ask you: if you can't trust your own tools, whom can you trust? I mean, I'm not an idiot. I KNOW how to use it. It's just a lying, stupid, lying piece of junk -- telling me there are studs where there are no studs. I just hope it doesn't rain or our kitchen wall could leak like a sieve, as full of pilot holes as it is...

Friday Five

1. How long have you had a weblog? Since April of ought-one.
2. What was your first post about? Let's check... Ah, it was about Greeting Cards of all things.
3. How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one? I tweaked it a little at first, added comments, but that's about it: it's never been changed.
4. What CMS (content management system) do you use? Do you like it or do you want to try something else? I use blogger. I'm in the process of getting MT working, but I'm not holding my breath.
5. Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place? All in one place! I have enough to read without checking both a LiveJournal and a weblog. Besides, what I find interesting is not so much what people write but who's writing it. And if I have to keep clicking between two different tabs in CrazyBrowser I get cranky ;)

Oh, and in case you're wondering: despite what you may gather from an entry below, sake and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Mark Shea throws down the gauntlet over at HMS Blog and calls for ICEL translations of common english phrases. My entries:

"Brother, Can you spare a dime?" into "Beloved, help us to experience your marvelous gift of change."
"Over the lips and past the gums, look out Stomach -- here it comes!" into "Rejoice, Tongues and Members, For our cup has been filled with gladness outpouring; a beverage burning!"
"War is Hell," into "An unresolved conflict is as a large pile of burning garbage."

and

"A fool and his money are soon parted," into "CSA (or DSA) collection is next week."

"Where's your Saint Anthony medallion?"
"I lost it."

I heard a radio interview today (Ave Maria Radio, where else?) with the author of Holy Innocents, a book which I've noted on here before as one I should pick up and read. Anyway, the author lives in Hillsdale, MI, where I lived for five years (four of it while in college). The book, he says, has some of that town in it and so I know I must read it. But first, an ODE TO SAKE.

Sake, sake, sake, sake, sake!
A refreshing treat!
Served with raw meat!
It can't be beat!
It's wet and sweet!
Let me repeat:
Sake, sake, sake, sake, sake!
No you'll never find it on the lips of Taki,
Or served up with a plate of souvlaki,
But other than that, you just can't go wrong with sake.
(Do Canadians love ice hockey?)
Sake, sake, sake, sake, sake!

You didn't think it'd be a 100% blog-free day did you?

Jury Duty: in a word: exceeded all of my expectations, in a good way (yes, that's nine words). Detroit itself seemed lighter and more airy than I remember, the Frank Murphy Hall Of Justice was easy to find (and not just because of the statue of a naked man dancing on a hand... what's up with that?). Parking was not a hassle and the people in the Juror holding area were really nice. The head judge came down to welcome us and she made some jokes, the other woman in charge was really nice and played movies for us (UNFORTUNATELY one of these was "The Amerikan President," starring comrade Michael Douglas and frauline Annette Benning). Anyway, midway through "My Best Friend's Wedding," they let everyone go. Apparently only six trials had been scheduled for that day and five of them were delayed, post-poned, cancelled, whatever. So we all got to go home (except for one sweet middle-aged lady who wanted to stay to see the rest of the movie). Then it was home for a nap then over to the in-laws for din-din.

Anyway, I haven't checked any of the blogs and I don't know if I should even bother. What's the worst that could happen if I missed a day?

You're right -- I'd better check in on all of them straight away!

NOW READING: The Old Limey by Harry W. Crocker, III. First impressions (I'm 2/3 of the way through): captures that John Kennedy Toole sense of madness with a bit of Waugh and a LOT of British military history thrown in on the side. Recommended.

Well, pray for me folks: I've got jury duty tomorrow. Not worth getting anxious over you say? Well, it's in deepest downtown Detroit. Why is that so bad? Well, it incorporates three of my greatest phobias: big, boarded-up buildings, lots of crime, and itinerant government employees. Hopefully I make it through it.

If I do, I really must check out the Philokalia. Not sure how many books it is or how much it costs, but maybe it will change my life forever.

Shoot. There are just too many blogs, books, magazines, etc. to read. Even if I quit my job (though I'd lose my cable modem if I did that) and became a recluse I'd never have time to read them all. Does that seem fair? That we'd live in a time where there would be SO MUCH of interest to read and never enough time to read 0.05% of it? This would seem to be some kind of supreme cosmic joke were it not for the fact that when we die it all becomes irrelevant and, hopefully, we get to experience it all perfectly. At that time it will not matter what you have read, but how you've lived... and boarding yourself up in an apartment and reading everything there is to read may be interesting, but I don't know if it's the devout life.

'Night!

As you can probably tell, I've given up for the time being on writing thoughtful commentary (or pithy observations at least) -- at least until I get my reason back (hopefully in time for the weekend, after -- gulp! -- Jury Duty tomorrow).

In the meantime, I'm playing BOMBERMAN GENERATION on the Nintendo GameCube, a game which is fun for the entire family! It's something you can pick up and play through a level in 15 or 20 minutes or so and then turn it off and go to bed or go to work or whatever. Plus it's really fun, colorful, and while many people have dissed the sound, I actually like the frenetic, happy J-pop tunes.

I've only scratched the surface of the multi-player aspect, which is supposed to be its real strong-point. Hopefully we'll have a chance to play true multiplayer this weekend (otherwise it's just me vs. the computer -- whee).

Anyway, I've just made it to the Sunken Pirateship level. And I'm trying to think of any videogame which could not be made better with the addition of a sunken pirateship level... and I can't think of a one.

Yahoo! News - Conner's Yacht Sinks Off Long Beach

Blub, blub, blub... I wonder if they let you keep your title, "Yacht Master," after something like this.

Philadelphia Inquirer | 07/24/2002 | With homeland security in mind, summer camp trains teens

I have to admit I was going to write something really skeptical and sarcastic about this but I got into the story and it actually sounds pretty cool!

Yahoo! News - Hillary Clinton says presidential election case example of Supreme Court gone awry

"In addition to installing an American president, the current Supreme Court has invalidated federal laws at the most astounding rate in our nation's history," Clinton said to applause and laughter.

And let's pray that they keep on "invalidating," such unjust and spurious federal laws!!!

Okay -- I've reached a decision. I'm not going to read anything, anymore which was written by writers. Why, you ask, would I make such a decision? Well, because writers love words too much and I don't have time for that. So from now on, everything I read will be written by someone other than a writer.

Writers take note: I'm hip to your little games...

So, Jackie and I have been enjoying the 20-year-old reruns of Starcade on the G4TV network.

But last night we saw one with a very good-spirited and energetic contestant, Michael Griggs (you can see his picture on the Contestant Gallery page of the Starcade site above) who was about 18 or 19 and was working as a maintenance worker, he said, but he really aspired to be a singer/songwriter and play guitar. I've done a quick search on mp3.com and google.com but I haven't been able to find any of his music.

I hoped that in the past 20 years he would've been able to realize his dream, but that appears not to be the case: yet another sad American story.

Unless his dream changed and he's the famous Harvard set and costume designer J. Michael Griggs. I'll try and check that out.

Oh NO! CNN did NOT just run a headline "What's Wrong With The Pope?" (followed immediately by one "Keep On Preachin.')

Religious convictions are a poor excuse for criminal negligence

This blighted scrap of bigotry so dusted my broom that I felt compelled to scribe the author thusly:

Dear Mr. Amrhine,

You seem to be awfully critical of anyone whose idea of a proper family
conflicts with your own ("Good parents these days don't have 13 kids.")
Without getting into any sort of meaningless debate about how many kids
"good parents," have "these days," I'd like to call attention to your own
parental irresponsibility.

I see in another of your columns, "Death--salted or unsalted," that you
have a child with a variety of food allergies, may of which could send her
into anaphylactic shock and cause death. I know all-to-well the horrors of
such food allergies because I suffer from them myself (to which numerous
trips to the emergency room growing-up can attest).

My question, then, in light of your most recent column (Religious
convinctions...) is this: how could someone who considers themselves a
good parent (anyone who would make such grand, sweeping statements about
what good parents do and do not do these days must consider themselves a
good parent) allow their daughter to be born with such a food allergy or,
alternately, having been diagnosed after birth with numerous food
allergies, how could a "good parent," consign her to a life with them.

As you are no doubt aware, there are numerous ways of testing for food
allergies, including skin tests which could be performed on an infant only
partially born. If such an infant, then, was determined to be succeptible
to such allergies, she could be, legally, aborted and thus never have to
suffer the horrors of an allergic reaction: her throat swelling shut, her
breath being cut off, the awful swelling, hives, nausea, and itching.

Could we consider someone a "good parent," who would have the option of
sparing a child such a life of unexpected horrors and yet would not choose
that option? Many people would not consider such a person a good parent
(as evinced by numerous cases being considered internationally which would
give parents of children born with handicaps -- allergic reactions this
severe could certainly be considered among them -- the right to sue
doctors who did not abort such children).

We must ask, then, why anyone who did not choose to end their child's most
horrific misery early on would presume to call themselves a "good parent,"
and then goes further to publicly damn all parents who have more children
than that which they consider proper.

I hope you will consider such things in the future and not be so quick to
judge all of those (and indeed you didn't just level your invection
against Kevin Kelly but, in fact, against anyone who happens to have more
children than you, yourself, desire) who may have a different point of
view from yourself.

Sincerely,

Victor J. Lams
Plymouth, MI

Ha ha ha ha ha... I thought I could completely revamp my blog template in 15-minutes but instead just wound up fubar'ing my archives. They're still there, all 15-months of them, but the page looks a little sparse.

Blergg Blog has a funky new candy-drop look... Check it out.

I'm trying to catch up on my blogs since I have a few minutes but everytime I start to read an entry the words run together and I get really sleepy. I'm probably very, very dehydrated.

UPDATE: Yeah, I had some water... feelin' better.

Ack. Just lost another pacifier in my messy room here, somewhere. These things cost $3 a piece so I had better find it.

Soviet-Era Atrocity Unearthed in Ukraine
Remains of 225 Apparently Killed by Secret Police Are Found at Monastery

I'm not certain, myself, what it means that most Ukranian-Americans I've met never bring this sort of thing up (nor the untold millions starved to death by Uncle Joe). What does that say about their national character that they would not wear this on their sleeve as so many Victimized Peoples might.... anyone know the answer?

USS Clueless

I was going to link to a specific post at this blog (that hardly does it justice) but it's really all good. Just pick up wherever and read until your eyes get all red and bleary.

Yahoo! News - Snakehead Fish in 7 States, U.S. to Ban Them

Wonderful... now I have something new to be completely phobic about: predatory, walking fish.

Did you get that: WALKING fish! The fish WALKS. ACROSS LAND. And it EATS THINGS WHILE IT WALKS.

No one is safe. Bush is right to order their immediate extinction not just in this country, on this planet, but beyond!

TechTV | 'Bomberman Generation' (GCN) Review

It turns out Jackie and I really enjoy playing videogames together (in multiplayer mode -- not just me playing Zelda while she reads the Prima guide to me ;) so I think I'll pick this up. It's a little pricey, but we're not taking a vacation this year (except to Portland, OR, for two days in October) I think this would be nice.

Besides, I'm not getting Eternal Darkness or Resident Evil (someone doesn't want those in the house because they're pretty violent and I can certainly appreciate that). I would be interested in playing through Eternal Darkness, though, and see how it deals with the evil. It seems to mainly say that the evil (in the game) is caused by a planetary alignment and that the 12 characters (who all die) spread out over 2000 years (many of them clerics, monks, warriors, etc.) have to fight the evil with magic so I'm not sure if it's straight good versus evil or not... I really want to play that game, but anyway I don't have the time.

Fool's Folly...

I rather much like this blog, check it out!

Also -- I will probably redo my template one of these days (assuming I can't get MT working) to include links on this main page (without requiring you to go to the links page).