He's a Democrat! He's Pro-Bush! And, most importantly, he's Pro-Life!

I might have to actually watch some politickin' conventioneerin' TV in the next few weeks, just to catch this guy's speech. But I'm not watching Guiliani, Schwartzenegger, or the other guy who's supposed to be a Republican who's speaking at the Convention but who I can't remember right now, because they'd all make me barf.

WorldNet Daily: Aborted baby's head left inside woman, Couple horrified to find face of child after returning home

Just when you think abortion couldn't get any more horrible, there's always another reminder just a click away. Caution before clicking on that link as there's a photo of the face a page or so down.

Just in case you wondered why there really hasn't been any good new music released in the last three years or so....

Classic et cetera Retrospective Repeat

Blog! The Musical

Originally aired May 23, 2003.

AcidPlanet.com: Remix "So What"

Here's what will happen: over the next five months, we'll offer a track a month from "A New Kind of Blue," in the same sequence they appear on the CD. This month it's "So What." Next month it'll be "Freddie Freeloader." We'll continue like this until the entire album is remixed, creating a third-generation Kind of Blue. Among other prizes, the winning remixes will be included on a compilation CD.

Randy Brecker on trumpet, Victor Lewis on drums... you bet I'll be remixing these. Especially "Freddie Freeloader". I thought that song was the bomb, back in High School.

Another Human Person

Mazel Tov to Zorak and O.O.!!!

I'm not Jewish, I just like saying "Mazel Tov!". Nice ultrasound picture, there, too. A couple of weeks back a couple who knows Jackie from her Marian Catechist program asked me if I wouldn't take a few of their ultrasound tapes and digitize them so they could show them on a computer at a baby shower some co-workers were throwing for them. It turns out these coworkers weren't even "personally opposed, but..." so they figured this might be a good, non-con-fron chance to spread the word about that Gospel of Life thing.

Well, I took the three ultrasound tapes (six weeks, ten weeks, and twenty weeks) put them into a nice DV presentation, put some music from Mozart's Coronation Mass behind it and burned it to DVD and also to Windows Media, just in case. They were very grateful, but really I just like having these opportunities to play with my toys.

I got word back about a week later that the video had been a big hit. The co-workers had never, ever seen an ultrasound and were really amazed at the motion of the baby, even from ten weeks. They were not as amazed as I was: NEVER SEEN AN ULTRASOUND. I could understand it if these folks lived 60 clicks outside of Burundi, but these people work in Troy, Michigan. In the United States. In the 21st Century. How can you never have seen an ultrasound?

The more I learn the more I begin to suspect that most people I disagree with aren't terrible people, but are just ill-or-non-informed (unhappily, most are also really dumb and won't listen to me, but that's another issue). I suppose that's the most diabolical trick of all: to have technology which is so ubiquitous and which so unequivocably (and if I spelled both of those two words correctly, I should get a gold star) demonstrates that the child in the womb is "Another Human Person" (as the little DV opus was entitled) and yet have people still so ignorant to it.

Is the effort now not to cloud a person's mind to the truth so much as it is to never have them happen upon it?

The Rome Depot.

I keep getting McGreevey and McSweeney's confused.

The Mighty Barrister asks if I've seen "The City of Lost Children". I assume he means "La Cité des enfants perdus". Actually, I made people hate me when this came out (and I was in college) because I got the videotape and forced people to watch it (I had the apartment off-campus, so if folks wanted to drink and watch movies, they had to do it at my place). Anyway, it's because of this movie that I went on a big Ron Perlman kick in 1996 and endured the awful "The Last Supper" just to see him come in and kill all the stupid liberals at the end (oops. Belated spoiler alert).

Anyway, I also thought I'd go on a big Jeunet et Caro kick, too, only they'd only made one other movie and it didn't have Ron Perlman in it so I didn't see it. Ron Perlman was in their "Alien: Resurrection" movie but that was all "Huh?" I guess Joss Whedon wrote that movie which is why they made fun of it on "Angel" (in season 3. Fred's mom tells Cordy that Fred's dad liked all the Aliens movies except the last one, which didn't make any sense).

Anyway, I notice that Jeunet tends to use a lot of the same actors in his film, just like the Coen brothers, so I thought I'd put together a set of Jeunet : Coen Bros. actor analogies:

Jeunet actor : Coen Bros. actor
Dominique Pinon : Steve Buscemi
Jean-Claude Dreyfus : Jon Polito
Serge Merlin : Charles Durning
Ron Perlman : John Goodman

And there's probably more but this post is pretentious enough as it is.

Fin

Neither HellBoy nor Looney Tunes: Back in Action were as bad as I thought they were going to be. Actually, prepared for the worst, I actually enjoyed "Back in Action". Most of the gags were funny (especially appreciated all the 1950s sci-fi monsters in Area 52... and particularly the Daleks!!!). It's probably a better movie than it had any right to be (and it had Ron Perlman and Robert Picardo in it).

"HellBoy" was a bit of a brain salad. I didn't put the second DVD in, so I don't know if there are 50 deleted scenes on it that make sense of the story, characters, plot, etc. or not. Plus, HellBoy's one liners should have been a LOT more funny than they were (the "the woiks!" line was the only one that made me chuckle). But it was still cool to see Perlman in the title role of an action movie (I can't believe he's 53!).

So next up is "Shattered Glass" which we'll probably see tomorrow or the next day (or really anytime before next Sunday at noon).

You know the Church is in a bad state when the new Rite of Exorcism for this country consists only of the words "Vaminos, Swiper!" repeated over and over again.

Oh, maaaann!

Picked up Voxengo's Voxformer vocal-strip effects plug-in this weekend and remixed Coloring Monsters. The lead vocal sounds much better now, I think. I even pushed it up in the mix where vocals should be (you might have noticed that I tend to bury my vocals, which is what most folks who home-record their own vocals do). Maybe I pushed them up too far. I'll give it another shot, anyway...

Update (08/15/2004): Re-tweaked the mix, yet again...

My next tune will be out either tomorrow or next Saturday. It's funky, and NOT a kid's song.

It's about time!

U.S. Military Clears A-Team of Charges

We're pleased as punch that Michigan native John Heffron was named Last Comic Standing on NBC. He's really funny (and he gave a shout out to Michigan last night, before he won).

TMBG on Conan, Friday night.

NPR: Human Plant Life Is Sacred

Here's a fitting juxtaposition of two stories NPR has run (so far) this week on "Morning Edition". The first, which ran on Monday, about "stem cell research", trumpeted science the technology industry's latest triumph: feeding embryonic stem cells with human placenta cells (instead of the industry standard of mouse skin cells). From such grisly irony new lines of stem cells have been produced, but, alas, these new lines will never receive federal funding (until Kerry is elected) because Bush decided on his own that killing human beings for personal gain or profit is murder. Although they didn't even imply that these "stem cells" were culled from human beings who had been destroyed (of course they didn't mention that to harvest embryonic stem cells you need to kill the person they belong to). Nor did the report even mention adult stem cells, which have been shown to be as effective as embryonic stem cells and don't result in killing anyone. The interviews in this story are positively ghoulish.

Compare this "Health" story to one which ran this morning about an Alaskan weed known as "Devil's Club". Apparently the "First Peoples" in the area consider this plant to have great medicinal purposes, but are reluctant to share their knowledge of the plant. The NPR story uses the word "sacred" multiple times to describe the plant and even uses the phrase "you don't harvest devil's club, you apologize for taking it" in the course of the story.

So the big ethical dilemma here is not is it permissible to slaughter baby persons to advance medical goals but can a weed be harvested over the objections of "First Peoples" to advance medical goals.

Good to see NPR has their priorities straight.

Strokin'!

I did an audio capture of probably my favorite funny Michele Norris Fawning Interview Moment to date (from NPR's "All Things Considered" -- the tile of which program is itself a truth in advertizing lawsuit waiting to happen):

Michele Norris - "Caught Up in the Motion of the Stroke" (very short mp3 file)

Here's the complete interview (for as long as it lasts). Of course Michele Norris doesn't go down on everyone she interviews. Listen to her "interview" Alan Keyes. Note the distainful way she uses the honorific "sir" (and note the way Keyes turns it back around on her) and the way she contentiously interrupts him, repeatedly. I can imagine the inner-dialogue before this interview: "Okay, Michele. Pull yourself together. You're interviewing evil incarnate, but you still have the upper hand, it's your show. Just get out there and show your friends in your 'Pals of Abortion' support group what you're really made of."

NPR is crazy stoopid.

Ye Olde Curte Jestere serves up the funniest campfire song parody ever. Jeff Miller, I salute you.

Reuters: Cuddling Strangers Latest Craze for Singles

It's not about sex and all about the touchy-feely experience of snuggling up to perfect strangers wearing pajamas.

The grab fests are called cuddle parties, and since they started in New York in February, hundreds of people have paid $30 each to touch and embrace others in intimate gatherings.

...

But the rules are clear. The PJs stay on the whole time and participants are reminded of Rule No. 7: "No dry humping!"

Okay, if "No dry humping!" is rule number 7 on the list, do I even want to know what rules 1 through 6 are? Maybe "No erections!", perhaps?

"We've never used it," said Mihalko, who said sexual arousal does occur, and that participants shouldn't be turned off or scared by erections. "They happen."

Apparently not. Still, I think the world is quietly, yet desperately, screaming for an "Erections happen!" bumper-sticker.

Well, okay, maybe there's a rule in there about no amorous bovine behavior. Then again...

Participants team up into pairs and to ensure the boundaries of what is permissible are clear, they practice saying "no" to the question, "May I kiss you?"

(Aside: many girls I knew in college apparently went to the same orientation session).

An introduction to cuddling ensues, first by hugging three people. People then get in a circle on their hands and knees, rub shoulders and moo like cows. After a bit of swaying, everyone falls to their side, which puts them into an easy cuddling position.

Okay... I can understand the appeal to selfish and unmarried people whose lives are so devoid of any sort of meaningful relationships that they think it's a good idea to go to these things but mooing like cows??? Who thought that one up? And what sort of person hears that idea and thinks it's a good one?

These New Yorkers are crazy (tap, tap, tap)!

So when you self-inflict a wound to get a medal, is that now considered "committing Herry-Kerry"?

From "The Sneeze": Ask Dr. Michael: The 8-year-old Advice Columnist.

Best example of the Robot Love theme ever!

And probably one of the best robot-themed entertainments out there. This one definitely gets the Robot Love seal of approval: DannyBot: The Film.

Also check out DannyBot, The 'Blog.

My dad took 'Xander, my sister Maria, and myself to Willow Run Airport today to see Thunder Over Michigan, a great big fly-in of all these wonderful WWII fighters and bombers.

'Xander loved the propwash generated by the B-17 (click video to play, right-click and unselect play to pause -- sorry, but I didn't want to spend all afternoon figuring out Flash video just yet ;)...



But he wasn't too crazy about when the 11 fighters who all took off together decided to all test their smokers all at once:



Anyway, 'Xander had fun.

We saw the new (ok, recent) Peter Pan tonight. It was wonderful, complex, and wonderfully complex. The cast and story and effects were all excellent, so A++++. And, of course, I was bawling at points through it. The story of Peter Pan is one that's always haunted me, since childhood, and usually I do my best to ignore it (because, let's face it, growing up, putting your dreams aside, and then, what's worse, asking someone else to do the same thing on your behalf, are things you don't really want to think about) but this version was fair to all the central themes of the story, and again, was funny, entertaining, and (again) made me cry.

A frightening look into the creative process...

I was not inspired enough to create a new tune today, so I began looking through the folders of my hard-drive for old tunes I'd been working on but then stopped working on. I found quite a few (some I'd started in January, when I began and then kind of stopped for no reason other than I got too busy with work, my Secret Project), so some of those will be finished up over the next few months. So this is something I haven't done before: I'm posting some unfinished songs in various stages of the creative process (none have vocals, because that's usually the last thing I do. One of them, Untitled 2 -- which, spoiler alert! is about the Flying House of Loreto -- is almost entirely finished, vocals written, and all I need to do is record them, or have someone who can actually sing record them). So here's four for you... 1 and 2 were done earlier this year and 3 and 4 were done last week and this week. Like I said, all are at different stages of the process (4 is bascially just a chord progression I'm playing around with -- maybe it's meant to be the bridge for number 3?).

The working titles for 1 and 3 are "King of Bugs" and "Falling Apart" and you already know that number 2 is about Loreto. But these are just working titles...

Untitled 1 (mp3)
Untitled 2 (mp3)
Untitled 3 (mp3)
Untitled 4 (mp3)

Anyway, next paycheck, I'm picking on Voxengo's Voxformer FX plug-in which should make my vocals sound better (yeah!). Then I'll start recording more vocals, unless anyone else can sing and can record vocals.

I have to admit, I was as surprised as Pete Coors says he was.

I hope whoever came up with the jingle for Hefty Zoo Pals (click on the two "TV Commercial" graphics to hear the jingle) got paid a million dollars. That's the most effective jingle I've heard in years. I don't think we made it all the way through the commercial, the first time we heard it, before 'Xander had it memorized. He sings it all the time. So it's a good jingle and I hope the guy who wrote it was well compensated.

We're home-town proud that John Heffron has made it to the final-three on Last Comic Standing. He's a rare thing these days: a gen-X comic who's actually positively funny (and not merely cynical).

Two very funny links from POF:

The Sneeze is very funny and very multimedical. Read it and you will laugh, as I have laughed (giant giraffe balls, always amusing... on this tip, I believe only Britain was around when I wrote the alternate version of a certain shirt website).

I don't know who this guy is, but he's my new cartooning hero: Spamusement. Very clever cartoons. Someone put him in the New Yorker, if he's not there already.

Peasant's Quest is out!!!

Update: Beatened! With a final score of 144/150 and two inventory slots not filled. I'll have to go back and see what I missed. The final showdown with Trogdor was pretty cool.

Why do I get the feeling this will soon be made into a film entitled "Miracolo" directed by and starring Roberto Benigni as 27-year-old Italian Point Guard Massimo Bulleri.

Here's a new source of nightmares for you...

zynaddsubfx: this looks quite cool -- an opensource software synthesizer which runs as a standalone app and which may not be used "to make music that is against God and Jesus Christ".

As a dad, I have a lot of great ideas for kids' stuff. But I don't want people to steal my ideas or think of them before I share them with the world, so here are two I'm logging for future development. To paraphrase a great wannabe fairy: These are the magic ideas that Victor thought up himself. Please, don't steal them.

I really, really want to play those anti-social and violent video games. But with an impressionable two-year-old in the house, I cannot play them in good conscience (and don't give me that "after he goes to bed" nonsense. Everyone knows that just after the kid goes to bed, the exausted parents do too). So what if there were a game that featured wide-open enviorments and game-play, sort of a toybox where your character could run around, accepting missions whenever you felt like it, acting irresponsibly but it would be okay because this game would feature not drug lords or prostitutes but Jim Henson's lovable muppets... we would call it "Grand Theft: Elmo".

My other idea was inpsired by that psychopa--, er photographer who had the idea to stick kids in vegtable outfits or ... well, I'm not sure I want to know what this is meant to evoke. Is that a baby in your unitard or are you just happy to see me? Okay, I'll quit. Anne Geddes makes some beautiful photographs as well as some comfortable designer babywear (though not made from real babies -- unlike her photographs -- as I learned by visiting her website). So, anyway: I got to thinking, we, as an American people, have had a varied and rich historical background as our narrative tapestry. Why not make our children aware and a part of this history as early as possible by staging re-enactments of famous historical photographs starring babies (and if you expect the following links to actually feature these photographs with babies in them, you will be disappointed. I'm not Allah, for crying out loud). Just think: your newborn triplets signing over Eastern Europe to Satan at Yalta. Or how about commemorating some sibling rivalry by remaking this classic? (though I'm not the first to recommend photoshopping that picture (before Photoshop even existed, I might add). The point is that if you're creative, there is some real money to be made.

In the meantime, though, I'm going to stick to catching lightning bugs with him. I became convinced tonight that if anyone even thought of the very idea of catching lightning bugs on a warm summer evening with their son, abortion would be non-existent in this world.

A very excellent and mature episode of "The Dead Zone" tonight ("Speak Now"). I think in terms of story and theme (having to do with marriage, about which this third season thus far has had a lot to say -- all of it "pro"), as mature as "In The Bedroom", but with less grisly murder and more Uzbekistanian firefights. So check that out when it re-airs, Wednesday at Midnight (is that Tuesday night? I don't know).

Unfortunately Kate Warner shows up again next episode...

New 'BlogTone!



This one is for Ryan Dew.

Happati -- Even better live than in the video!

Link via POF.

"Last Comic Standing" Drinking Game:

Rule: Drink until something's funny.

SPECIAL DEAL!

No 'blogging today, but if you're really bored you can always Buy a CD. We're having a special 2-for-1 sale next month and the rest of this month in honor of my glorious birthday. Buy 1 Robot Love CD for $10 (shipping included) and I'll throw in another Robot Love CD for free because you'll probably want to give at least one copy to your friends. Just enter the quantity as "1" and put this special code somewhere in the PayPal comments box thingie or email it to me: "2FOR1", and me and the Robots will send you 2 "Robot Love" CDs (which as anyone can tell you, come in an awesome, shrink-wrapped, spine-stickered, fully-illustrated, full-color, 6-panel paperboard package) for the former price of only 1 "Robot Love" CD.

"WOW, VICTOR! THAT'S ALMOST A 65% SAVINGS OFF OF THE AMAZON.COM PRICE!"

Yeah! I know!

You're not only getting 2 "Robot Love" CDs for the price of 1, you're helping me finance (or at least justify to myself and my loved ones) the next one!

Just because it's been about nine years since Britain first introduced me to it:

"The Fountainhead", Starring Skull Force

Here's my sorry 'Blogger profile.

Now you can see just how many words I've wasted on this thing over the last three years.

The real "enemy of thoughtfulness."

Seriously, folks. Motes n' Beams.

Alizzah Is In The Hizzouse has some PP T-Shirt Parodies. Reminds me of a certain poster contest from a few years back.

Annika's 'blog is the bomb, however.

Uh-oh! Fun Portrait!



Courtesy of Portrait Illustration Maker: "Let's make an original icon!" (which has got to be an anagram for something really profound).

Also, let's see: need a thought or direction on a song to do this weekend. I can do another song for kids, a song for adults, an adult song for kids, or a kids song for adults. Or all four or none of the above.

Posted my latest musical creation (2 posts down) to the thread on the KVR-VST forum where folks are posting their music created with Camel Audio's Cameleon 5000, and received this comment from Ben, the fellow from Scotland who created the synth:

I'm really impressed with the quality of these tunes! Great stuff. Nice one all of you! I'm just listening to Colouring Monsters at the moment. I defy anyone to listen to it and not smile Kind of reminds me of Belle and Sebastien.

That made my whole day. In honor of Ben, I'm probably going to have to change the official spelling of the title to Colouring, though. But -- Belle and Who?

Update: Checked them out on Amazon. Some nice melodies going on there and suddenly I don't feel so bad about my own voice anymore.

By now you've all seen the shirt and while I could probably get rich marketing a "I drugged and helped gang-rape some chick!" t-shirts to the local frat boys around here (you know, to help remove that stigma), there would really not be enough irony in such a shirt (at most one layer of irony). So, when I finally do make my shirt, it will be available for $15.99 in sizes S through XXXLT and say on the front "I Blew Up The Clinic Real Good!", because it's always best to dress in layers.

NEW MUSIC!

It's been a while (almost five months) since I've posted any new music, so here you go. This song was inspired by 'Xander's coloring book (a monster coloring book) and the attention with which he colored in every picture in that book, and included us in the fun. He's also pretty good at roaring, so his roar is featured in this song, as well.

Victor Lams - "Coloring Monsters" (256kps .mp3 format)

Tech Notes: with the exception of the vocals, drums, and percussion, all of the sounds on this track were made with Camel Audio's excellent Cameleon 5000 additive synthesizer. Spectral morphing rules, yo!

Anyway, let me know what you think. Unless your feedback is negative, in which case I'll probably give up for good this time. Nah, seriously: let me know what you think.

Trailer: "Peasant's Quest"

Okay, I concede: Nothing beats Trogdor. This is the funniest thing I've seen today.

Abortion Clinic Says Playground Would Upset Clients

"The main reason (for the objection) was that their clients would be hopping out of their car to enter the back door of the clinic and would hear the voices of children and I guess they felt that was going to emotionally upset them," Mayor Charlie Gregorini said, as reported by Australia's Sunday Times. "It would be an emotional situation for someone who's decided to have an abortion and then the last thing they hear before they enter the clinic is the happy voices of children."

The abortuary came to an agreement with the childcare centre through a mediator, that a two meter concrete wall would be erected to block the children's sounds.

Strong Recommendations:

"Fairly Oddparents: Channel Chasers" The new 90-minute movie premiered tonight. Funniest NickToons feature ever. We lost it somewhere between the Charlie Brown ("But I wanted to see the Great Menorah in the Bagel Patch!"), Speed Racer, and Scooby Doo parodies (and we even missed the "Heavy Hal/Fat Albert" parody). Since it will undoubtedly air a million times between now and next Tuesday, it's highly recommended, check it out.

"CheapAss Games' 'Kill Doctor Lucky'" Dawn and Brian came over tonight and we played this game for the first time ever. I was concerned that the rules would be too complicated, but we got right into it and had a fun, hilarious time trying to kill the old pawn. At seven dollars, it's DEFINITELY recommended.

We also played "Metro" which was a blast until the earthquake ('Xander) destroyed Paris in the crucial endgame (we all had a good laugh about that, actually).

All in all, not a bad evening!

Unless I lose the use of my voice between now and tomorrow night, there should definitely be some new music this weekend. Hopefully well worth the wait.

Someone should ask how all those Moors got under his feet (i.e. in Spain) to begin with...

U.S. Congress declares 'genocide' in Sudan.

It is good that this is finally being recognized... but what are we going to do about it?

Stephen Greydanus reviews "The Bourne Supremacy".

Tells me everything I need to know to want to see it (though it sounds like Franka's role is smaller this time around).

A good way to find all the music and movies I've ever put on line is to search for my name on singingfish.com. It's a great search engine: it returns information from the ID3 tags of the results so you know exactly what you're getting. I found tunes there I had forgotten I'd ever put online. Pretty cool search engine.

Single-handedly making the case for the compulsory erection of Ten-Commandment Monuments in every city, town, and village in America.

Dance, Voldo, Dance!

Voldo's always been a freak.

Link via POF.

More CTA Conference Photo Captions.

"Remember, Martha, you have to clap on beats 2 and 4!"

"Man... Someone told me there'd be chicks here."

"Passss the dutchie on the left-hand side..."

But, sadly, the evening's festivities ground to a halt once H. R. Puffenstuff arrived.

(Don't blame me. Fr. Bryce started it...).

Mega Man vs. Ghosts N' Goblins

Awesome, awesome find by Fr. Bryce.

The game is A LOT easier playing as MegaMan than it ever was playing as Arthur -- credit that to the Buster being a much better weapon that the javelin (I never got my power bar sufficiently low: does MegaMan get knocked out of his armor and have to run around in his undies, too?).

In other news, this week's "The Dead Zone" episode was another winner. Well into the "third" season and it has yet to come close to jumping the shark.

"You do not believe me? You will, Dr. Jones. You will become a true believer."

This is not the song I promised yesterday. The truth is I started three songs between then and now but didn't remotely come close to finishing any of them. I had plenty of time, and a new toy (Cameleon 5000), but didn't have any inspiration.

So I downloaded the free ProtoPSG, which is an emulation of the great PSG sound chips, and fooled around with that for about three minutes and here you go:

"Requiem for a Sega Master System" (also a requiem for a lost weekend, creatively speaking, too). Listening to this now, I think I may be on to something: use the retro-sounding PSG emulation as a scratch pad for musical ideas I can formulate later on the huge monster synths which can be pretty imposing when you just try to come at them with a blank canvas. We'll see.

Anyway, earlier, in disgust, I ran out to EBGames and picked up "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" for GameCube, which was on markdown. That's a lot of fun. Seriously. I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I am. Anyway, hopefully some new music next weekend.

In the meantime, however, if anyone has ANY IDEA how to uncork this writer's block (I think I'm too afraid to complete anything because it won't be good enough to justify not doing anything creative for the last two months), please let me know. The person who comes up with the best suggestion can be my muse for the week.

And there's a new reflection up at Crossbeams.org.

Britain links to a bunch of Panasonic "Hi-Ho" commercials. And my life is better for it.

In other news, I realize it's been about four or five months since I've done any new music.. so who's up for a new song this weekend?

Nicely done.

Soundwave is looking RAD! Frenzy starts kickin' it at about the 2:20, so stick around for that.

And here I thought "cultural issues" were "values-based".

Why can't they just state the obvious: the Democrats have no "moral credibility" and if they start speaking to anything that means anything, they will "lose".

Morons.

What a stupid story: People get Ice Cream Headaches, no body knows what causes them, to avoid them don't eat cold foods in a hurry. They don't even tell you how to REALLY fix an ice-cream headache after you get one, which is when you really need some good advice in a hurry: rub your tongue (or anyone else's tongue, for that matter) on the roof of your mouth to heat it up and you will quickly end the brain-freeze (which is the REAL official term, but don't expect the idiots at Forbes to tell you that).

Strong Sad and The Cheat's Experimental Film video is now online. Not just because it's a video for a They Might Be Giants song, but I think this is my favorite output from the Brothers Chaps yet.

The Spine, Preliminary Review: Buy This Album Immediately

Okay, this album isn't even out yet, and I've just downloaded it (with the complimentary -- not meaning free -- single) and haven't listened to all of the songs yet, but I need to send a shout out to this album because it's pretty essential.

In a brief nutshell, this is the "Flood" of 2004. The Johns have gone back to their experimental roots (the first cut, "Experimental Film" could be kind of, in a self-depricating way, the metaphor for this album) but updated them with innovative rock and pop arrangements, incorporating their own musical interests (John Linnell returns to the Autotune effect for "Bastard Wants to Hit Me", a funny song perhaps about road rage, and the "TMBG's Other Thing" traditional brass band shows up on "Museum of Idiots" which is becoming another of my favorite tracks... Linnell is really using the Rhodes electric piano to great effect these days). Lots of piano and acoustic instruments on this album (have to love "Stalk of Wheat", one of my recent Dial-A-Song favorites, with it's flexitone) though synthesizers and electronic effects (occasionally ring modulation and comb filtering, which appears to be another favorite effect) are used on a range of tunes, too, and always groovily (love the synth arps on "Broke in Two"). Overall excellent composition, melodies, arrangements, and lyrics on this one. Smush "John Henry" together with "Mink Car" (two of their more underrated albums), take pop and rock music simultaneously forward and backward 30 or 40 years, and you might wind up with "The Spine".

Actually "The Spine" defies definition... let's look at it another way: 'Xander (who considers "No!" to be his favorite album of all time) started dancing at the first tune and didn't stop while I was playing the album, and by the second verse of the vast majority of these songs you'll be singing along (and then you'll start to think about them or laugh) so that makes this album a success by any definition.

Definitely go buy this tomorrow or order it on Amazon, or download it from They Might Be Giants dot com. But get the extra EP, "The Spine Surfs Alone", too, because that's got some great tracks on it, as well ("Skullivan" and "I'm All You Can Think About" being two instant classics of the "The Spine Surfs Alone" EP).

I know it's not called for, but expect me to go track-by-track on this one after I spend some time with it.

They built this whole neighborhood out of wood, out of wood.
I guess I'll still be around when they burn, burn it down.
I will be standing around when they burn it down.
Here in the Museum of Idiots.

Honey, I'm there when you need me, please believe me, please believe me.
I'll still be right where you left me, if you manage to forget me.
Where we met is where you may forget.
Here in the Museum of Idiots.

If you and I had any brains, we wouldn't be in this place.

Chop me up into pieces if it pleases, if it pleases.
And when the chopping is through, every piece will say, "I love you."
Every piece of me will say "I love you."
Here in the Museum of Idiots.

Every piece of me will say "I love you, you you"
Here in the Museum of Idiots.

White you're waiting for your copy of The Spine to download, check out Homestarrunner's Decemberween In July specials.

Now if I could just get that link to Strong Sad's video for TMBG's new single "Experimental Film" to work, we'd be in business.

Star Trek Apartment.

And if you ask me, this guy was doing a public service.

Nice.

ßê@û†iFu£ @t®Ø©i†iê$™ juxtaposes critics' comments on both Farrenheit and The Passion and shows just why even the RottenTomatoes.com Gemeinschaft cannot be trusted to be an accurate assessment of a film's worth.

These should quench your thirst for wacky and incomprehensible foreign Flash cartoons for a while.

Brought to you by g200kg, the guy (or gal) who programmed this PSG-board emulation VSTi. The sounds of the classic Bally/Midway games are now mine! His (or her) orginal music is also pretty awesome, as well. Wish I could read his (or her) weblog, though.

Sara-Sings.com

It's pretty inspiring and it doesn't sound so bad, actually.

Need a frame of reference? Compare Sara's DynaVox (which you can hear in action here) with two other "professional" singing-synthesis programs:

Yamaha's Vocaloid (who's first incarnation is Zero-G's MIRIAM, LEON, and LOLA. Listen to audio-demos here (even though MIRIAM is supposedly based on samples of some famous professional vocalist, I can't stop laughing when I hear "her" rendition of Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes, though she's nowhere near as bad as LOLA). People make jokes about the "Vocaloid" name and as cruel as those jokes are, I'm not sure they're entirely undeserved.

Anyway, Vocaloid reminds me of the guy on mp3.com who wrote all these ragtime pop tunes with Latin lyrics and then had his Macintosh sing them. Wish that guy was still around.

But what's really freaky is when you move away from sampled phenomes and into the range of pure digital synthesis, as is the case with VirSyn's Cantor. What is it with these European synth programmers and "Scarborough Fair" demo tunes? Actually, what is it with Europeans and their lame music, in general? Is it any coincidence that all of these supposed "virtual vocalists" are coming out of Europe, home of Junior/Senior, Vengaboys, and God only knows what else? Attention Europeans: your music is wack. It's pretty telling that the only way you can get anyone to pay any attention to it is to hire people to have sex on stage while you perform. Personally, I blame socialism, Lutheranism, and Red Bull.

Anyway, here Cantor takes on Roberta Flack... and, well... at least now you have a whole new appreciation for Sara Pyszka's unique accomplishment.

Huzzah, Michigan!

The Washington Times: Marriage gets a boost in Michigan

The amendment would end domestic-partner benefits in places such as the city of Ann Arbor, the University of Michigan and Michigan State University, said Wendy Howell, spokeswoman for the Coalition for a Fair Michigan.

Should be an interesting run-off in November.

This is the first review of "Father Joe" (not to be confused with "Farmer Joe") I've seen so I'm linking it here. It would appear that my worst fears have been realized beyond even what I feared would be the worst realization of them.

Courtesy of The Dawn Patrol (how come I don't have a cute caricature of me on my 'blog? And how come I don't have my own jingle? Oh wait, I kind of do.. they're called 'BlogTones. Someone in the club tonight has stolen my ideas)...

Seriously, though, check out that there 'blog.

Another cool thing about the They Might Be Giants concert (aside from that they opened dramatically by playing a recording of Orff while strobe lights flashed -- ironic, but made even more so by the presence of a guitar tech rummaging around on stage during the opening) was that John Linnell has picked up a Kaoss Pad and added it to his rig. He was mainly using it to trigger vocal samples, but he got to feature it briefly during what Flans called "The future of music: 20 years from now you'll be driving in your car and this will come on. And you'll be struggling to find something good to say about it."

So now of course I want one :).

So here's our weather forcast for tonight (from Local 4 Weather)...

Tonight: partly cloudy during the early evening, then becoming mostly cloudy. Scattered showers and thunderstorms with an isolated tornado, large hail, and damaging winds possible through 11 pm, then showers and thunderstorms likely.

HUH?!? I've read a lot of weather forcasts, but this is the first one where they've actually predicted an "isolated tornado". Check back here tomorrow to find out just how isolated this tornado really was.

Meredith is right: Travis is the new star of the Internet and will generally make you feel good about things.

The Kicker

A few posts down I mentioned how much we enjoyed the opening act at the TMBG show, Common Rotation. I wondered, though, when I checked out the band on Amazon.com why so many Amazon customers who had checked out the band had also purchased every single piece of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer merchandise Amazon sells.

Well, turns out the frontman for the band is Adam Busch, who played "Warren", the evil, robot-building, eventually-flayed geek on seasons five through seven of the show.

But you don't have to take MY word for it.

And even after all that dehumidificaferating, it's still Too Damn Muggy In Here (right-click to save-as).

This summer, incidentally, marks the seventh anniversary of that song (can you tell I was into Jamiroquai at the time?). Another interesting tidbit about that song: after I programmed the drum track for that song into my Alesis SR-16, I re-used it later as the drum track for Captain Sisko's Badassss Song (it was one of those spur of the moment things). That was a fun time.

Everyonce or while I'll find a webpage of someone who listens to my music who is hip and who I didn't even know about: Dehumidifier Model X44807.

Last night was the They Might Be Giants concert in Ann Arbor, and probably one of the best nights of my life.

The show itself was awesome (the Power Center got its introduction to a rock band -- it usually hosts dance troupes, jazz concerts, etc. -- and it's actually a great venue for rock, particularly on the main floor). Opening for TMBG was Common Rotation, from the Left Coast, who were actually a lot more entertaining and witty than their website makes them out to be (we'll get their CD, but in the meantime you can download a cover of TMBG's "Don't Let's Start" -- which they did not play at the show -- and "Indie Rockin'" -- which they did play, and which is very fun song -- from their website. Both those tunes are from "The Big Fear" (good luck finding it) which was produced and features performances (apparently) from members of TMBG. Anyway, it's a rare band that can have you singing along by the end of the song the first time you ever hear them. They hung around after the show to sign stuff and their throng was even bigger than TMBG's). Then TMBG came on and played a very diverse set: including two tracks from "John Henry" (never thought I'd hear "Stomp Box" live), a bunch from "No!" -- and it was a trip to see all the 20 and 30-something fans there with their kids, singing along to "Violin" -- and a whole lot from their new album "The Spine", coming out on July 13th (which I'm looking forward to because a lot of it sounds hilarious). Of course they played "Birdhouse in your Soul", "Particle Man", and "Istanbul" but managed to give them all new twists. They also did Scan-the-Dial (though no "Lie Still, Little Bottle") And what can you say about any show that has about 26 encores (yep -- they played all 18 "Fingertips") other than the audience (the core audience at a TMBG show never ages: it's always 15-to-19-year-oldw... but with the folks our age and our kids -- though not our kid in particular because we're not nuts -- this time around as a welcome addition) left happy after the show closed with "Sleepwalkers" (one of my favorite songs of all time). This was stop number 2 on their tour in support of the Spine and they're breaking in a new drummer to boot, and I'm pleased to report it was a very rocking performance.

Also amusing, though, is TMBG's free .mp3 for this week (or month), "Bloodmobile" which they did for an upcoming exhibit at a science museum. Click here and follow the link to Free .mp3s.

But what really made it special was that Jackie came with me this time, and we got to share the concert. I can see why a lot of married couples go to rock concerts together (or at least they should). It was a lot of fun to stay out late and drink mocha frappes and eat burritos after 11pm (memo to self: never do this again). Anyway, we're still recovering well into the evening today, which means it was a successful Saturday night.

Well, I guess I need to find out why new posts sometimes appear and sometimes don't with this new host. I think it has to do with my ISP's DNS not pointing victorlams.com towards the new host (I had the domain name transferred, as well). Apparently this is working for some people, though, which is why I suspect it's just my ISP's own DNS server not having the correct record.

But sorting this out can wait until tomorrow -- we're seeing They Might Be Giants in concert tonight!

Okay, I think I have everything moved over to the new host now. Everything I'm interested in transferring, anyway. If you run into anything which doesn't work on the website, just let me know!

Relaunch!!

I'm moving victorlams.com over to a new host today. Hopefully, once this is complete, all those brownouts we've been seeing over the past three weeks will be a thing of the past.

"You can't be both Catholic and pro-abortion," read the bright red T-shirts of 10 college students who demonstrated yesterday morning outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Brighton.

What's amazing about this story is that it even made the Boston Globe's radar (if the page has that DNC bannerad at the top when you read the story, ask yourself why Condi isn't in the "rougues gallery". Perhaps her face looked to much out of place?).

Anyway, even if Bush loses to a Kerry/Clinton ticket in 2004 I say the worse the better. The Baby Boomers will make themselves extinct ("Ow. I'm in pain. Gimme pot... No, now I want cocaine.") at some point and then it will be our country. Until that time, I echo the sentiments of pre-revolutionaries everywhere: the worse things get, the better.

I sure hope this isn't a hoax...

Because this is the coolest thing I've heard in a long time:

SALT LAKE CITY - For more than 50 years, rancher Waldo Wilcox kept most outsiders off his land and the secret under wraps: a string of ancient settlements thousands of years old in near perfect condition.

Hidden deep inside eastern Utah's nearly inaccessible Book Cliffs region, 130 miles southeast of Salt Lake City, the prehistoric villages run for 12 miles along Range Creek, where Wilcox guarded hundreds of rock art panels, cliffside granaries, pit houses and rock shelters, some exposing mummified remains of long-ago inhabitants.

The sites were occupied for at least 3,000 years until they were abandoned more than 1,000 years ago, when the Fremont people mysteriously vanished. The Fremont, a collection of hunter-gatherers and farmers, preceded more modern American Indian tribes on the Colorado Plateau.

San Francisco rolls out the red carpet for the Clintons

"Many of you are well enough off that ... the tax cuts may have helped you," Sen. Clinton said. "We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

Okay -- someone stop her NOW. The only reason we didn't lose the house this past year was because of the Bush tax cuts. And now Sen. Clinton wants to take away our house on behalf of he common good?

National Treasure Evan Coyne Maloney interviews people waiting for a Clinton book-signing in "The Clinton Legacy".

It's funny because it's not what you would have expected, but then, upon reflection (particularly the guy who thought he was going to see Avril Lavigne, instead of Clinton), it's exactly what you would expect people who would wait eight hours to see Clinton to be like.

And please don't make the comparison between Maloney and Moore. Maloney shares nothing of Michael Moore's vitriolic hatred and contempt for all humanity. When you watch Maloney interacting with the people he interviews you really do feel that really likes people, all people, and that he's talking with his friends (and this isn't that artificial Terri Gross "get down with the people" sort of amenability, either). It's encouraging, though, that the Left has yet to produce a younger Michael Moore (Maloney is in his early 30s and Moore is in his 50s, I believe, though his he's got to have the arteries of an 80-year-old). And I don't think the Left ever will. Where are their next Michael Moores? Aborted, every one.

Don't expect to see these graphic pictures in the New York Times, anytime soon (work safe).

And finally: a sensible and economic look at the effects of abortion, from the Wall Street Journal. I doubt many Dems will change their hearts, though. Abortion is the nuclear holocaust and the Democratic party is the Slim Pickens.

And for heaven's sake, keep your phone away from my 'nads!!!

Cheaper by the Dozen

Jackie, 'Xander, and I all saw this movie last night and we all really enjoyed it. I wasn expecting to really like it at all, but it was actually funny in spots, touching in others, and is probably the movie which most effectively, to this date, illustrates the conflict between pursuing career goals (with the best intentions) and really just focusing on what you need to support a family.

There were a lot of little annoying things (like why Clark didn't just throw the jocks at his new school through the air or zap them with his heat-vision and how come the family is so poor if multi-talented Disney sensation Hilary Duff is in it?) but overall I would recommend this to anyone with kids with a disclaimer: watching this movie will make you want to run right out and pick up more.

If I had a real-live swinging band, I like to believe it'd be a lot like Estradasphere (thanks for turning me on to them, Aristotle A.!).

Hey! Did you know that the chimpanzee that was on last night's episode of Monk is also Dennis Miller's co-host on his CNBC show? Things you learn by watching the credits...

And yes, I know my site's availability has sucked as of late. We'll be transitioning it at some point in the next week or so, so look for availability to just jump through the roof and then come down and land unharmed on the couch.

CBS 2 Chicago: 'No One Steals From God'

“He had threatened me that he had a knife so I saw the knife pouch on his belt. So, knowing that he had a knife I had to physically keep his hand away from the knife so I wouldn’t be harmed. So I put him basically in a half-nelson and held him to the ground,” said Father Foley.

Happy Fathers' Day to all fathers and Fathers everywhere!!!

I've never heard of the game "Dead Rush", but this screenshot, of a Ford Crown Victoria plowing through a bunch of zombies, tells me everything I need to know about the game -- WICKED AWESOME! (Also, the tagline from the trailer is "Sometimes a car is your best weapon", which is a belief I've always held deeply, and it's being developed by Treyarch, who do all those cool Spider Man games).

Advise on being a Father... from Men's Health magazine

I know what you're thinking, but this is actually a pretty amazing article, as out of step as it is with practically everything dads have been told in the secular media for the last 30 years.

Basically it's the 10 regrets of the author's fatherhood experience... and the 11th wish? "Bonus Wish: I Would Have Had More Kids"

I don't know who is behind those new Spy Vs. Spy ads for Mountain Dew ("Helicopter" and "Hallway") but they're perfect. They look exactly like what a live-action representation of my favorite comic strip should look like (even down to the expressions on their faces -- and the rendering of the helicopter is spot-on). The Grey Spy has yet to make an appearance, but probably will soon.

I wish I had never gotten rid of my Spy Vs. Spy Board Game. That was really fun.

OverClocked Remix

More remixes of classic video game music. It's hard not to love a piece entitled "Pachelbel's Ganon" (by DJ Pretzel, who seems to be one of the best and the moderator of the site; remarkable, actually -- gotta appreciate anyone who gives Alex Kidd mad props).

Fans of Tetris will appreciate this. This Zelda remix from the same artist is also very good.

As someone who can't walk up a hill without whistling the theme of Sony's "Wild Arms" (probably my favorite RPG of all time), I'm looking forward to these.

UPDATE: Okay, my favorite so far is this boogie-woogie (though over-quantized) tribute to the NES classic "Ice Climbers"

Idiot Roundup

NJ Residents Fear Backlash if Saudi Hostage Killed

If the 9/11 terror attacks didn't prompt a "racist backlash", what makes anyone think killing another hostage would? Besides, it's not like anyone was planning on blowing up a shopping mall anytime soon, right?

Baptists reject public school pullout

Earlier this year, a statement denouncing "government schools" as "officially Godless" had been proposed...

Of course the public schools are officially Godless, but I think what the Southern Baptists are really afraid of here are children moving from the officially Godless schools into schools which are nominally Catholic.

Let's see... who else is an idiot today...

The US Senate, of course... whatever happened to "equal protection under the law". Why write a law that only applies to 1% of the population (yes, there are a few more idiots in that article)? Yeah, I know the whole "all crimes are hate crimes" angle has been played to death, but it's the truth. I wonder if they'll count cases of statutory anal rape as a "hate crime against homosexuals"... maybe they consider that a love crime, though. Who knows.

More idiots...

Dan Rather, but that's too obvious. Tootsie Heinz Kerry, too.

And, oh yeah... You missed. It'll take more than that to knock it into the sea.

Way to go, Fr. Bryce!

I bet there are more than a few Louisiana senators who are now cursing his name.

Cool!